OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Cultural Peculiarities of the Isolated City-State



d12
1. Restricted food supply: grain-based currency, garbage of aristocrats fed to middle class, scraps thereof foisted upon proletariat, underclass conditioned to consume the dead
2. Autocrat selected via biannual lottery, must live in shack outside city walls, forfeit all property, depend upon alms, otherwise all-powerful
3. Lacquer deceased, pose, display in the home, public areas, awaiting prophesied resurrection event, entire amphitheaters taken up by ex-season ticket holders, a huge pain in the ass, clergy searches for alternatives acceptable to the gods
4. Due to proximity of colossal bee hives, symbiotic relationship via lush city-wide flower gardens, honey works its way into every sickeningly sweet food/beverage, people starting to look a bit bee-ish, security swarms hold visitors at bay until cleared by human sentries
5. Ruling class composed of cultured, sophisticated, well-dressed giants, half-, quarter-, eighth-giants compose other social classes, dependent upon all-human labor pool who, while seemingly wretched, do not wish to be free
6. Formalized polyamory practiced universally, visitors must take on multiple marriage partners for entry, divorces granted only via costly litigation
7. Daily mandatory physical fitness regimen practiced at dawn, above average strength, constitution commonplace, high-protein herd beast-based diet, well-fed classes exceedingly muscular, body dysmorphia runs rampant
8. Most disputes settled at the grand Table of Adjudication by proxy champions using tactical board games
9. Involuntary, boundless levity in approach to all things, no matter how dire, all conversation framed as hilarious "bits", great effusions of genuine or feigned laughter the glue that holds society together
10. Death penalty banned after reign of Joluu the Beheader, crimes high and low punished by banishment of varying length, nearby Exile City provides sleazy accommodations, crime-based economy
11. Coral-walled city built upon foundations of risen capitol of extinct, paleogean mermanoid civilization, shoddy stairways, ladders allow access to structures once entered by swimming, fortified royal district considered unassailable, caves beneath still flooded with ancient waters, inhabited by weird Cambrian life-forms including giant arthropod food source
12. Populace obsessed with wrestling, training commences upon discharge from daily toil, a ring on every corner, huge bronze belt buckles display level of mastery, victories at neighborhood, district, city-wide levels, binge drinking is the number two activity

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Yeah but THESE Hellhounds....



d12

1. Actually from the biblical Hell, on mission to Campaign World in Satan's service, seeks expert murderhobos for important jobs in ancient Judea
2. Carries cask of Hell's Libation on collar, St. Bernard-like, able to restore damaged demonic entities to full fighting strength if imbibed, mortals who sample the brew must make a saving throw or burst into flames, those able to stop, drop, and roll in time rendered permanently insane
3. Perpetually smoldering hide, even if cured, but provides superior protection from elements natural and eldritch, stinks a good deal though
4. Lap dog of Hell: very cuddly, affectionate, if current master killed uses preternatural cuteness to establish bond w/nearest available new master, asbestos safety gear required for human handling
5. Retriever: seeks and fetches specific magic items required by dark master, specializes in live capture of sought individuals, noted for minimally damaging soft bite
6. Giant hell-dachshund: bred to rid caves of owlbears, other dungeon megafauna
7. Trans-planar sled team: haul terrible outer entities about from sphere to sphere tirelessly, remain motionless awaiting commands, may only be released from harness by powerful magic, will obey any being to board their sled
8. Spell-sniffing: toxic saliva nullifies memorized spells, treats magic-users as per chew-toys
9. Monster-herder: immune to many forms of monster attack, round up and distribute to chosen locales various dungeon creatures, keeps the hobgoblins out of gnoll territory, etc.
10. Worse than rabies: infected by sorcerer-created virulence that results in mad frenzy of wanton mayhem, much hideous frothing, seeping, transmissible across many species, known to have depopulated several dungeons
11. Thief-seeking: automatically detect thieves in territory, stalks, kills without mercy, piles in heap before master's door
12.  Headless: luminous sensillae in chest detects quarry across planes of existence, effortlessly breaches interdimensional veil, emits brain-scrambling ray, opens iris-like to imprison prey in body cavity