OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Monday, September 23, 2013

It's in the Unmarked Barrel

d12
1. Pickled adventurer, fully equipped, reactivated by removal from (reusable) suspension-brine
2. Dwarf hands in aspic intended for delivery to ogre pot-luck
3. Shrieker spores: enough to choke several dungeons with the fungal menaces
4. Black pudding! No, wait, its just super-condensed balsamic-type vinegar, sweet, unctuous, worth a small fortune to the right buyer
5. Super-premium virgin blood, slightly clotted
6. Preserved cave fish, theoretically edible but the unholy stench sticks to everything it touches pretty much forever
7. Shelf-stable red dragon bile, entire barrel dipped in wax, immolates on exposure to air
8. Maturing red pepper mash of the most blisteringly spicy variety
9. Thirty-seven ancient ghosts, imprisoned with enchanted sigils on inside of lid
10. Hemlock fizz intercepted en route to philosophers' convention
11. Powdered quick-dry cement with cask of activator fluid nearby
12. Fermented cave mollusk beverage used by stone giants for its mild hallucinogenic propeties, humans who sample the brew sit down and never get up again

2 comments:

  1. That fermented cave mollusk beverage sounds potent!

    And may the gods be merciful to whom ever opens that barrel of red dragon bile! Assuming that the markings on the barrel have been "smudged," or otherwise made illegible.

    Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!

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  2. "Pickled adventurer, fully equipped, reactivated by removal from (reusable) suspension-brine"

    We did this constantly in a group I used to play with. Someone dies, so in the next dungeon level you find a paladin in a barrel. The pladin dies immediately after- What are the chances?! Another paladin in a barrel!

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