OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Dragon's Current Situation

d12
1. Duped by being of even greater evil into series of aerial attacks on military outposts of Law, many untreated arrow wounds, 1d12 enchanted missiles still embedded in crusty hide
2. Bad case of draconic distemper characterized by vomiting, fever, occasional seizures, under care of demonic veterinarian now practicing on premises, sees various other blighted horrors during downtime
3. Driven to distraction by lust for particularly juicy bauble located in proximate dungeon complex, unattainable by dragon due to notable, ever-expanding girth, narrow corridors
4. Depleted of joie de vivre, sleeps more than ever, off chow, no longer enthusiastic about lethal mayhem, accumulation of wealth, treasure heaps disheveled, covered in dust/cobwebs, tablets ordered from alchemist untouched in bottle
5. Obsessed w/outer spheres after close encounter w/UFO, pours vast amounts of treasure into personal space program, retains cadre of science-sorcerers headquartered in lush laboratories near lair
6. Deranged, delusional following head wound delivered by paladin whose mummified corpse the dragon drags around everywhere it goes, engages self in penetrating Socratic dialogues to plumb innermost mysteries careful observation of which could crack the code on hitherto incomprehensible dragon psychology
7. Groggy, cranky, increasingly irrational, overdue for 1d12 year slumber but keeps getting interrupted
8. Flush w/cash after fortuitous encounter w/treasure-laden caravan, gleeful, giddy, ebullient peals of laughter audible from significant distance, in its glory, one will never encounter a dragon more magnanimous
9. Exits lair nightly to continue construction of titanic bird's nest-type structure on nearby mountain peak
10. Putting on airs after decades of savagery, tutors hired, wine collection off to grand start, ostentatious jewel-encrusted headdress commissioned
11. In hock to evil Underworld priest who performed life-saving healing after dragon's encounter w/bad-ass gang of wizards, wings damaged irreparably, amputated, ranges farther and farther from lair on desperate treasure-gathering raids to keep hell-hounds off trail
12. Preoccupied by newly acquired talent for astral projection, rumored to enter stupor for days at a time, mind expanded by visits to new and unusual planes of existence, but not so much that it doesn't note and lust after shiny/enchanted items from each

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