OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Monday, October 14, 2013

NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Eight



d12
1. Ten foot tall multi-tentacled service creature w/pleasant facial expression balances 2d4 trays loaded with exotic cocktails, glides toward nearby bacchanal, marsupial-like pouch stuffed with tips, unleashes stream of toxic bile if agitated
2. Drunk and disorderly demon princeling, fresh from making public ass of self in front of superiors, could possibly achieve redemption w/particularly tasty human sacrifice were one to present itself
3. Evil dramatist w/transparent skin and leathery wings works frantically on last minute revisions to short piece for imminent performance, reads out parts to self, weeping exasperated acid tears, willing to write in parts for adventurers who have that certain special something 
4. Wily expert thief hides in roast catoblepas carcass left to rest before service, waiting for opportunity to flee the scene w/bejewelled goblet enchanted to transmute wine into lethal poison
5. Enlarged paladin in black greasepaint w/impala horns glued to head pretends to be a demon guest but is sweating off his disguise, improvised faux-evil dialogue not so hot either, ready to create distraction according to plan already abandoned by cohorts
6. Ten foot tall multi-tentacled service creature relieved of duty after finishing off countless leftover beverages, bitter, vengeful, loopy, desperately needs new employers, built up toxic bile ready for discharge at even the slightest provocation
7. Breathless barbarian mouths pithy rebuke to so-called gods, smacking forehead with flat of gore-streaked two-handed sword, working up quite a froth before rushing headlong into battle against forces beyond barbarous comprehension
8. Noted surface sorcerer dripping with rings, talismans, charms, tries to look inconspicuous, whispers instructions to invisible companion, fiddles nervously with luminous wand topped with tiny human-like skulls
9. Horrified local monarch pales visibly reading over fine print on freshly signed contract, equally rattled court vizier attempts to get it together enough to read scroll of teleportation
10. Monster husbandry master attempts emergency surgical intervention on prone and gasping giant horror, recently hacked by barbarian (see entry 7), demonic owner looks on helplessly
11. Dealer with the face of a star-nosed mole readies displays of wicked armaments enchanted to smite the good, lawful, noble
12. High priest of surface temple webbed to corner chants feebly, still unbroken despite obvious abuse, crudely written sign at feet reads "please punch me in the face"

2 comments:

  1. "Please punch me in the face." Great stuff as always!

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  2. Loving every moment of this blog!

    ReplyDelete