ONLY DRAGONS GET CRITICAL HIT TABLES!

WARNING: GROSS

Claw, claw
d12
1. Swipe smashes jaw, pulps face, power of speech temporarily destroyed, even magical healing cannot restore the PC to original beauty
2. All raiment/armor rent, subject left totally nude, humiliated
3. Flung 12d12 feet in random direction, additional plummeting damage
4. Seized in claw and squeezed for double damage, bones mashed, innards liquefied in one round unless PC somehow effects escape
5. Carotid artery and jugular vein simultaneously compromised resulting in spectacular jetting bleed out in 3 rounds
6. Claw enters mouth, exits brain-case, instant death
7. Disemboweled with intestines tangled in claw, double damage, its a hell of position to be in
8. Claws impale chest, saving throw or instant death, otherwise dragged around or smashed into comrades until somehow dislodged
9. 1d4 random limbs go flying off
10. Dragon punch: instant KO, two black eyes, broken nose, PC hurtles off into space, smashing into any solid object in trajectory for additional damage
11. Stomp out: subject smashed to ground, extra damage if wearing stiff armor, 1d4 limbs broken
12. Sliced clean through, subject split from crown to crotch, momentary pause for final utterance before falling to pieces

Bite
d12
1. Single fang through the brain, if victim survives: personality, mental capacities permanently changed
2. Dragon gets a good grinding chew in before letting go, double damage
3. Bites off the hand/arm holding the weapon/magic item of greatest use against the dragon, swallows hard, grins
4. Limb seized, victim flung into ceiling (if outdoors, smashed into the ground) for extra bonus impact damage
5. Bitten around torso, victim must somehow escape the next round or be chomped in half
6. Snips off random limb and down the hatch quick as you like
7. Victim impaled on fang and stuck fast, dragon gets automatic claw, claw attack to shed the attachment
8. The old bite and shake: no one ever survives that but PCs are special so you get a saving throw, success indicates double damage
9. Takes a huge chunk out of neck and shoulder, bleed out in three rounds
10. Face raked with rasped tongue, flesh sheered off leaving only skull and goggling eyes
11. Swallowed whole, straight down the gullet, could possibly trigger involuntary eruption of breath weapon, otherwise it's off to the gizzard for a sound thrashing
12. Head bitten off, chewed, spat out at comrades' feet