OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Friday, September 4, 2015

Other Hobbies of the Dungeon Overlord

d12
1. Obsession w/personal hygiene spawns intense interest in design, installation of running water, advanced plumbing, drinking fountains, already magnificent, continuously improved lavatory facilities available throughout complex
2. Tinkers w/time-keeping mechanisms, environs decorated w/baroque, hideous glockenspiel clocks, hourglasses, incredible watch collection in secret treasure room, dungeon dressing includes ubiquitous tick-tocks, startling cuckoos
3. Cultivates enormous ant farm for research, exploitation, touching select dungeon walls renders them transparent for ant observation, harvests ant bi-products from egg chamber for processing into vitality tablets, lumbering hulk charged to insert deceased minions/adventurers via chute w/attached wood-chipper
4. Enthusiastic about clothing design, focus on cutting edge high-collared capes, chic damage-proof fabrics, dressing dummies everywhere, frequent visits by purveyors, taste-makers from the Big City
5. Solvent-reeking studio space filled w/huge naturalistic paintings of evil perversity, a fortune in the finest art supplies, enchanted paintbrushes enhance creative process/induce involuntary automatic painting episode lasting 2d12 hours if grasped, captive models housed in menagerie until called upon for often-lethal duties
6. Driven by eldritch dietary theory, cultivates underground garden employing novel thanatosynthesis principle, all manner of weird purple veggies, rigid adherence to experimental diet yields certain weight loss, explosive gastrointestinal distress
7. Developing child-rearing techniques to ensure evil outcomes, tykes suitable for eventual world-domination, relies heavily on impressive baited maze, hideous au pair species created to oversee tests, maintain kidnapped subjects, beneficiaries of unsavory Stockholm Syndrome
8. Master of supernatural forgery: sends fake letters and disinformation to regional potentates to sow entertaining mayhem, issues disturbing missives to adventurers ostensibly from spouses, children, parents, etc. delivered via dungeon-spanning mail service
9. Amateur dramatist stages productions in lavish theater area, secretly plagiarizes brilliant antediluvian bard after discovering oeurve beneath tomb, actors' guild refuses to furnish additional players following several tragic incidents, open auditions ongoing
10. Produces highly ambitious, totally obscene designs for mosaics then painstakingly implemented on walls, floors, ceilings, by industrious, jovial, talkative slave-creatures
11.  Numerous self-luminous cases around dungeon display fully painted miniatures collection, loaded with anti-theft enchantments, hobby room filled by enormous games table with miniatures war game already in progress against extremely patient vampire opponent
12. Occasional cacophonies resound throughout dungeon, traceable to reeking jam room loaded with drums, lutes and things, wind-instruments, bong collection

1 comment:

  1. Hey, I just discovered your blog recently, and it's amazing. This list, for example. I like item 6, as I think it would yield the most interesting aesthetic result, but on the other hand, number 9 has an interesting roleplaying opportunity beyond just kicking in the door and killing the guy. Nice.

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