OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Utterances of the Malfunctioning Magic Mouth

d12
1. Divulges personal information of caster
2. Rattles off locations of unguarded treasure
3. Solves math problems with 100% accuracy
4. Topical stand up comedy routine
5. Sings lullaby ad nauseum
6. Repeatedly attempts to place dinner order
7. Warns of nearby traps
8. Dispenses monster-fighting advice straight from the MM
9. Spews incomprehensible gibberish in hysterical tone
10. Babbles a stream of cutsie-pie baby talk
11. Dictates contents of caster's spell book in repeating loop
12. Begins counting down from 100 in voice of 1950's sci-fi robot

1 comment:

  1. #6 is the best. Even better a Chinese food order.

    "Why can't you deliver the soup? Can I substitute it for a couple egg rolls? No subs, huh? I was talking to myself.. nevermind. Yes, I still want to place the order. No, I don't want to pay $2 extra for fried rice... can you please just put the soup in a cup or something? Now wait.. how can I not substitute egg rolls for the soup? You'll let me substitute the fried rice though! Oh, yeah... $2 extra. No wait! I don't want the fried rice. I was thinking out loud again. Yes, I still want to order..."

    Shit.. 

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