OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Before First Level: Dwarves

d12
1. Served mandatory 20 yrs. repairing/refining subterranean vaults w/dwarvish conservation corps
2. Dropped out of jewelry-making school in white-hot rage after public rebuke of works
3. Has finally gathered enough gems to buy family heirloom war axe from father
4. Fascinated by study of humans and their folkways, considers them amusing weirdos, cannot wait to join forces
5. Threw off yoke of cultural dourness while exhausting entertainment value of wine and song, wasted too much time to get rich by the standard means
6. Painstakingly hand crafted own tomb in the Hall of Fathers, performed ritual auto-funeral, ready for adventure
7. Spent youth in traditional crafting of personal tool kit (including arms and armor) for lifetime use in all endeavors, now fully fledged adult and ready for action
8. Driven by adolescent gold-lust, committed the unforgivable offense of hoard-theft to outfit self for adventure: caught, beaten, shaved of beard, permanently exiled
9. Retired from several careers, now looking for thrills, resume includes: militia, stone cutting, masonry, metal fabrication, food and hospitality service,
10. First dwarf to attempt to popularize notion of collective bargaining for workers, barely escaped series of assassination attempts, has had it w/his kind
11. Impoverished petty noble w/dwarvish enemies galore, 17th in line for throne, didn't like chances in high society
12. Content to grow beard and hammer rocks until afflicted w/permanent viral infection, manifests as low grade fever and severe wanderlust

1 comment:

  1. Talk about perpetuating stereotypes . . . and I believe they prefer to be referred to as "stocky-beardy people".

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