Thursday, April 12, 2012

Manifestations of the Sorcerer's Derangement

1. Broad mugging and overacting of a silent movie villain plus ear-piercing shrieks and stream of consciousness rants at top of lungs, sweaty, bug-eyed
2. Overwhelming obsession with sub-atomic matters, scrawls equations everywhere, wears microscopic eyepiece 24/7
3. Hell-bent on mission to improve sensory awareness: currently preparing for self-surgical installation of giant multifaceted bug eyes
4. So steeped in the esoteric has lost ability to even comprehend mundane matters anymore, forgetting to eat/sleep/bathe
5. Manic pursuit of bigger and better explosions leaves hideout a smoking ruin, plans to soon blow up something really big, issues near continuous crazed laughter
6. Megalomaniacal devotion to remaking the world in his/her image starting with mountain-sized statues (scale models fill laboratory)
7. Unfortunate loss of basic bodily function control, walks around with big streaks on gown while dictating wild new theorems to amused homunculus scribes
8. Successful research expanded list of arcane power words considerably, now indiscriminately peppers his sentences with them, surviving staff walked out weeks ago
9. Intruding alien personality constantly interrupts normal speech w/scathing criticism, alternate opinions, mockery
10. Receiving direct transmissions from the future w/instructions on which current political figures must be assassinated, summoning beings from the dimension of hate to carry out hits
11. Involuntary high speed spewing forth of esoterica and erudition in a highly educational, well organized screed
12. Swallowed by black hole of paranoia, has killed retainers, is planning on launching preemptive strike on closest allies


  1. 4 reminds me of many of the programmers I know... Scarily accurate.

  2. Thank you for this one. I love how an over-the-top science fantasy gonzo setting is implied by these tables without there being any necessity to resort to descriptions of specifics.

  3. awesome, although man would #11 be hard to pull off in play