d12
1. Smaller than demi-human average pleasure centers in brain
2. Innate dwarf knowledge of life's dark underpinnings
3. Takes forever to digest anything due to metabolic imperatives
4. Serious beings just don't get off on screwing around
5. Reactionary stance re: elfish frivolity
6. Extremes of emotion inefficient not to mention unbecoming
7. The gods didn't make this universe for you to play in, man
8. Best not to get one's hopes up
9. Joviality and gem-cutting do not mix
10. Dwarf shoes crafted to be intentionally uncomfortable
11. Don't let the dwarf god catch you smiling
12. You think life sucks? Just wait until the afterlife!
OK. This might be my favorite. Several of those would make good T-shirts.
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