Thursday, August 23, 2012

Dungeon Plagues

Table One: Pathogen
1. Rot pox: too hideous a fate to describe
2. Exploding fever: temperature spikes then keeps on cooking until extremely unpleasant eruption
3. Zombie itch: turns host into mindless self-scratching machine
4. Brain virus: before roasting the brain w/high fever inverts personality/skews cognition
5. Face-eating bacteria: it ain't pretty
6. Suicide chills: eventually lethal but more frequently ended by victim
7. Death shakes: tremors come on almost instantly after exposure, escalate to grotesque parody of ecstatic dance, followed swiftly by death
8. Wraith germ: attacks point of contact between spirit and body, creating ghost (death)
9. Dysentery of Abject Misery: immobilizes and kills by dehydration/humiliation
10. Blue anguish: subject turns blue and writhes in agony for 1-6 days until deceased
11. Bone Melter: turns skeleton into so much jelly followed by suffocation
12. Shriveling wastes: victim becomes more hideous than the most ancient lich, then snuffs it unceremoniously

Table Two: Vector
1. Dungeon ooze
2. Anything handled by filthy kobolds
3. Vampire blood
4. Kraken excrement
5. Sewer monsters
6. Bat vomit
7. Monster latrine
8. Subterranean pools
9. Bugbear lice
10. Ancient gold coins leftover from plague-eradicated civilization
11. Draconic cerebrospinal fluid
12. Troll mucus

Table Three: Cures (other than Cure Disease spell)
1-2. Huge monetary sacrifice to the god of the wretched
3-4. 24-hour ritual involving free-form dance and large amounts of chicken blood
5-6. Victim must be bled to within inch of life
7-8. Cup of hot poison (50% chance of instant death anyway)
9-10. Subject must be roasted over open flame until half-dead
11-12. Incurable!

1 comment:

  1. I've actually treated a case of exploding fever.

    Well, not really.

    Great tables though!