OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Freelance Dungeon Missions: Mid-Level

d12
1. Locate, bargain w/uniquely colossal troll, believed sessile, fills entirety of chamber, for specimen of living flesh
2. Assassinate arms dealer in trade partnership w/Underworld forces while en route to subterranean shipping company HQ
3. Exchange tiny abomination incarcerated in enchanted vessel, captured familiar of dungeon sorcerer, for living brain of court vizier, embodied in earth golem's mass, currently under mental control
4. Spike shut all three doors leading to level four, monitor, do not release other adventurers trapped w/in no matter what they say
5. Release plague-infested fleas on dungeon level five, anti-flea garments provided
6. Enter crypts, festoon w/holy symbols of every conceivable stripe until its like Christmas morning in there, anoint w/variety of blessed oils, ignite plethora of incenses, re-seal until further notice
7. Enter crypts, introduce experimental new undead-eating predatory ape species, re-seal until further notice, must see to care and gruesome feeding of caged creatures until deployment
8. Make full study of dimensional anomaly detected on dungeon level four, one daring PC secret "volunteer" to cross inter-dimensional barrier and return, outcome to be determined THUSLY
9. Scatter lair w/items implicating undesirable cult/nation/organization, awaken ancient dragon, get the hell out
10. PCs made Imperial Notaries, proceed to vampire lair, obtain signature for divorce papers from unnamed aristocrat
11. Hew giant cables w/loaned enchanted ax, shut down power to evil dwarf foundry, steal specimen of new alloy
12. Annual Imperial Dungeon Graffiti Challenge

HORN-TOOTIN' BEYOND THIS POINT
Here's a Lulu coupon code for those interested in the book I'm selling (see image at top of left-hand column), good for 20% off your Lulu order (see image at top of left-hand column) until midnight of April 10:
FLASHY20

1 comment:

  1. That coupon precisely paid for my shipping, down to the penny. Oddly satisfying.

    Anyway, keep up the good work. I've been leeching off your brain scraps for ages now, and it's much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete