In the Saloon

d12
1. Depraved cretins w/strong sense of entitlement (2d4)
2. Tavern sage holds down corner of bar: answers simple questions for a drink, buy a round for the house for more complex inquiries
3. Surly drunks embittered by years of being surly (2d4)
4. Some guy who's really loud and thinks he's hilarious
5. Raucous gaggle of pickpockets emboldened by drink
6. Black lotus addicts waiting around for their connection to show, rather edgy
7. The guy who has strident opinions on anything he happens to overhear, not a particularly deep thinker
8. Pack of ruthless, armed-to-the-teeth dwarfs celebrating successful delve
9. Inebriated laborers fomenting uprising, much speechifying and little regard for alternate opinions
10. Tattoo artist plying trade in well-lit corner: save vs. infectious diseases, heavily inked sycophants openly question the machismo of the un-inked
11. None of the regular patrons mess with the strangely lumpy hooded figure at the out-of-the-way table who orders and downs ale after ale, would rather feign a fainting spell than even acknowledge the existence of this perpetually thirsty entity
12. Off-duty assassins amusing themselves by subtly pitting various patrons against one another then sitting back to enjoy the ensuing mayhem

Unknown City-State: Requirements for Entry

d12
1. Aliens must register with constabulary, wear unattractive brightly colored ID badge at all times
2. Citizen must vouch for each entrant (fortunately, professional vouchers are always nearby)
3. Arms/armor must be checked/exchanged for city-legal weapons (rapier, dagger)
4. Extensive ritual ablutions, decontamination, delousing and body shaving
5. Small sacrifice (according to means) to patron deity and swearing of the Visitor's Oath
6. Small cash payment, coupon book for local shops issued w/tourist's map
7. Men lacking beards denied (false beards offered at numerous kiosks outside walls)
8. All potential visitors must enter protective custody for 12 hour mental health observation
9. Must consume (delicious) potion of docility
10. Extensive medical and arcane screening required due to recent prevalence of shape-shifters
11. Must perform eight hours of community service in return for free entry, according to skills
12. Only humans allowed entry, all others may remain in the stables

Street Weirdos in the Big City

d12
1. Defrocked cleric of chaos w/tentacle beard rants and raves re: the end times (w/100% accuracy as it turns out)
2. The Outdoor Librarian: has books/scrolls/tablets/etchings/etc. on wide range of outré subjects stashed in nooks and crannies throughout city
3. Filthy, reeking, besotted ex-bard, knows a song on most every subject, lucid only for brief window each day
4. Huge ex-magic user, cast permanent enlarge on self before dedicating life to perpetual bender
5. The Human Pincushion: totally unharmed by slicing or stabbing attacks, likes to dare fighters to unarmored duels w/heavy wagering
6. High level pimp (ftr/mu/th), deranged on bad black lotus, on rampage of extreme random aggression
7. Man wearing armor made from street detritus wears stack of helms simultaneously, one of which is rather special
8. Former style consultant to the rich and famous gone psycho-killer using sewing needles dipped in nerve toxin
9. Ascetic panhandlers levitate in lotus position while calling out for alms telepathically
10. Emaciated ogre wearing false beard/heavy cloak to avoid detection sells items on blanket after secretly devouring former owners
11. Retired warrior of supreme talent renounced violence after religious awakening/mental breakdown, proselytizes to fighters relentlessly (if in any way wounded, goes completely berserk, killing everyone in sight with improvised weapons)
12. The Masked Agitator shrieks out anti-plutocratic screeds to all and sundry until city guard summoned, continues lecture while eviscerating pawns of the system then disappears into the night

Secret Monsters in the Big City

d12
1. Wyvern in sub-mansion cavern flown nightly by half-crazed masked plutocrat waging war on vagrancy
2. Demigod, virtually unrecognizable: enjoying protracted period of seclusion as unkempt perpetual saloon patron, goes on monthly rampages with astonishing body counts
3. Vampire w/seat on city council and impeccable record of gentility
4. Small population of invisible ghouls, known only to the elite, survivors of previous civilization with enough secret knowledge to safely demand human flesh required for sustenance
5. Dragon magically shackled and imprisoned beneath palace, supplies raw materials for sorcery: blood, bile, ichor, shed scales and talons
6. Squadron of gargoyles wait in silent hope for an attempt to breach castle keep's defenses
7. Lich remains at large in royal library, magically disguised/concealed: alternately helpful with research projects and capriciously deadly should patrons offend his literary sensibilities
8. Inn's cellar houses colossal black pudding, handles waste disposal and provides active ingredient for salty black bread offered free w/purchase of drink
9. Expert armorer to the rich and famous assisted by magically enslaved clan of fire dwarfs awaiting opportunity to avenge themselves by burning city to the ground
10. City Vice Czar actually half-devil overcompensating and only able to contain Jack the Ripper tendencies for so long
11. Real child-eating witch slinks from gutter to roof top, replacing devoured tykes with identical soulless ones who bide time until adulthood when all hell breaks loose
12. Artist of stupendous talent actually terrifically self-involved demon more interested in approbation than overt evil

Wanted: Dead or Alive in the Big City

d12
1. For treason: highly satirical bard with broad fan-base among the city's youth
2. For blasphemy: gaggle of impish street waifs who seem to delight in defacing holy sites
3. For adultery: wanton spouse of city official, now in hiding w/one of many lovers
4. For loan racketeering: extremely clever and elusive Masked Money-changer, protected by hired assassins
5. For illegal arms dealing: former dwarf lord with connections living in exile in thieves' quarter
6. For kidnapping: giant chambered nautiloid w/mind control powers operating in city sewers
7. For unlawful sorcery: recently sacked sub-vizier, popular astrologer to the upper classes
8. For ESP-detected thought crimes: high priest of minor chaos temple
9. For molestation of a person of greater social station: Gandhi-like hero to the underclasses
10. For extortion: entirety of local shipping guild, services being replaced by navy
11. For failure to honor holy days: retired war hero notable for outspoken skepticism
12. For tax evasion: occupants of the rather scary looking ancient mansion on the hill, surrounded by beast-populated moat w/semi-human figures patrolling grounds by night

Odd Jobs for Fast Cash in the Big City

d12
1. Cult offers handsome bounty for clandestine desecration of rival temples
2. Short stint as muscle for criminal organization involved in negotiations w/similar group regarding overlapping territory
3. City government hiring freelance tax collectors for difficult accounts, paid by commission
4. Sewer patrol looking for assistance in cesspit pudding abatement
5. Temporary executioners sought after blood-soaked riot in city prisons simultaneously reduced staffing and sent death penalty cases through the roof
6. Brutal sadists needed for construction foremen positions, experience with whip a plus
7. Rewards available for list of known criminals still at large (bounty hunting licensing fee deducted from first capture)
8. Per diem workers needed for morning cleanup of high-mayhem streets/districts (Ambush Lane, Murder Street, Hell's Bunker, etc.) during festival season: bring your own high boots, strong stomach
9. Grave diggers always needed
10. City exterminators bolstering crews due to rampant urban stirge infestation
11. Black lotus dealer needs lesson taught to upstart competitors
12. Phlebotomists in employ of genteel vampire buying blood by the pint

Secret Societies in the Big City

d12
1. Fraternity of Cosmic Indifference
2. Aristocrats for a Stratified Society
3. Graft Guild
4. Brotherhood of Cutthroats
5. League of Debauchery
6. Arcane Supremacists
7. Green Panthers
8. Parent's Committee Concerned about Sorcery
9. Sea Dogs and Piratical Ship Workers Local
10. Anti-Riff-Raff League
11. Academy of Good Taste
12. Supra Geniuses For Chaos

What's up with the Guy Behaving Mysteriously in the Tavern?

d12
1. Fugitive from justice unused to status and on the brink of losing cool
2. Victim of brain erasure trying to ascertain identity
3. Deviant of some stripe seeking same for dating, possible long-term relationship
4. Undercover operative from government agency monitoring freelance adventurers
5. Reeling from interpretation of recently decoded ancient stele detailing imminent apocalypse
6. Body controlled by sorcerer from remote location for nefarious purposes
7. Troubled by ramifications of recent involuntary enlightenment at the hands of a powerful shaman
8. Early stage brain virus infestation, next stop: full blown delirium
9. Holding incredibly valuable and powerful artifact and looking for a buyer
10. Waiting for contact from crime syndicate, awkwardly working code words into chit-chat
11. Clandestine visitor from another sphere trying to be nonchalant
12. Totally weirded out on black lotus

Stalking the City by Night

d12
1. Sewer dragon (flightless): like a giant hellbender with dagger-like fangs, expels paralysis-inducing plegm through nostrils in gouts of surprising range, astonishing treasure hoard
2. Gaggles of young aristocrats on a binge escorted by bloodthirsty and entirely competent body guards
3. Demons of revelry: seem suave, pally, affable fellows, always buying until you're drunk and helpless
4. Street slime: opportunistic predator able to flawlessly mimic cobblestone (or whatever)
5. Swarm of sub-miniature stirges: warded off by expensive caustic balm, cash reward available for extermination
6. Ravishing ogre maiden and brutish entourage seeking former suitor now in hiding
7. The Midnight Sage: dispenses all manner of esoteric knowledge, charges exhorbitant fees, protected by local crimelord
8. Diminutive alley troll: adapted for ambush-and-flee urban predation, solitary, lair in carefully concealed burrows beneath out of the way alleys
9. Talent scouts/recruiting agents for newly formed Cutthroats Guild
10. The Vampire Dandy and his hench-fops: a blast to hang out with, obvious risks notwithstanding
11. The Invisible Drunkard
12. Partied-out party of adventurers finally deciding to find a safe place to stash their loot

Features of the Eccentric Plutocrat's Mansion

d12
1. Torture chamber w/discretely curtained observation lounge, master torturer's quarters adjacent
2. Private art gallery w/half-devil curator: works carefully selected to slide poisoned blade between the ribs of the human spirit
3. Hall of taxidermy: highlights include several specimens whose gaze might still turn you to stone
4. Elaborately appointed summoning chamber and reception area for dignitaries from Hell
5. Surgical suite for extracting adrenal glands and other essential bodily fluids for artificially prolonging life
6. Secret cemetery where victims of the plutocrats various eccentricities are respectfully interred (once stripped of usable parts)
7. Hedging bets: multiple shrines and mini-temples (some with hired clerical staff) honoring incongruous gaggle of gods, demons and cosmic entities throughout manse and grounds
8. Row of guest rooms designed to accommodate startlingly alien requirements
9. Secret costume room w/variety of outfits designed for impersonating prominent public figures
10. Grand ball room w/elevated stage currently occupied by inhuman troupe of travelling performers preparing for the bloodiest and most realistic Grand Guignol production yet attempted
11. Fenced enclosure housing captive population of debased halflings
12. Secure area (including deluxe quarters) where multi-disciplinary think tank pits dark intelligence against the plutocrat's entirely petty personal concerns, employing a private force of assassins (also luxuriously housed) as needed

Enemies of the City-state Currently at Large

d12
1. Seditious army commander: escaped execution in hail of fireballs and lightning, believed harbored by sketchiest cabal of sorcerers near city
2. Plutocrats displaced by tyrannical usurper: gaining traction among those who yearn for the ol' time  oppression they were used to, raising secret armies for planned insurrection
3. Charlatan suicide cult guru: rises in popularity as local economic hardship mounts, spellbinding oratory argues for sacrifice of earthly goods (to be disposed of by temple), public displays of self-annihilation
4. Remnants of not-quite-wiped-out indigenous peoples, driven by fatalistic mores, defiantly throw their lives away in acts of senseless destruction
5. Authorities suspect former court vizier (disappeared after failed coup attempt) hidden by retired member of adventuring party, four of whom maintain residences in the city-state
6. Presumed madman dubbed "The Midnight Dentist" harvests teeth of the noblesse for an unknown arcane purpose
7. Visiting woolly neanderthal dignitary killed aristocrat over insult, now roams the streets in berserk frenzy, a host of guardsmen unable to bring him in
8. Barely perceptible demi-material monstrosity from another sphere breaks out of royal menagerie in bloodbath, linked to certain scrolls now missing from royal library
9. Beloved monarch revealed as animate mummy of pre-cataclysmic age: brought down entire wing of palace upon self and accusers, body never recovered
10. Redmask, populist agitator and author of absurd treatises re: "The Rights of Man", eludes capture, may in fact be several individuals
11. Ambassador from formerly secret subterranean kingdom: walked out of talks with human leadership in disgust, publicly declared human surface hegemony officially at an end, disappeared into newly formed sinkhole, populace descending into paranoid freak-out
12. Roll again but this time assume the result is a totally fictitious red herring designed to keep the people in fear and ready to swallow any nonsense their betters wish to foist upon them while simultaneously occupying any wandering armed miscreants in the area with wild goose chases.

Also In Residence at the Inn

d12
1. Imperial courier w/message for gone-missing noble, now afraid to report back to dark masters
2. Petty noble and retainers taking a few days off from lengthy sojourn, reserved entire wing of the establishment, planning extensive revelry
3. Impressively outfitted knight and single squire patiently await sign from the gods before making next move
4. Foreign sage and indentured crew of grad students embarking upon expedition to excavate site of lost temple
5. Sculptor flush with cash from major commision seeking rare minerals to complete pièce de résistance
6. Cult priest travelling w/squad of deadly acolytes, mummified heart and brain of ancient prophet
7. Ancient wizard, having mainlined the last of his potions of longevity to no effect, lies in deathbed slowly snuffing it
8. Temporarily rich thief living large while laying low, sloppy w/drunken braggadocio
9. Silverware salesman who the proprietor suspects may secretly be an imperial inn inspector
10. Permanent resident: venerable retired explorer and cartographer, happy to discuss and show off (but never ever sell) the fruits of his labors
11. Gentleman awaits arrival of distant rival to settle long-delayed matter of honor
12. Idle aristocrats slumming it: participants in an evening of fancy-dress games

Quick Cultural Quirks: Sophisticated Urbanites of Swords and Sorcery

d12
1. Considers self to be unflappable having seen it all in the big city
2. Applauds the feudal spirit: actually quite fond of the help
3. Sensation seeker by habit if not inclination, unapologetic epicurean tastes
4. Prejudices against the unwashed masses too numerous to list, total ignorance of agriculture and most means of production
5. Honors the gods as required by social mores but with little enthusiasm, heavy sprinkling of moral relativism
6. Settles matters of honor with dagger duels or other mostly ceremonial means: elaborate rules minimize lethality, its all about showing up (w/awesome entourage decked out to the nines)
7. Master of all manner of parlor amusements: games of skill/chance, song, verse
8. Weds traditionally w/ much pomp but generally for social engineering purposes, adultery discrete but frequent
9. Leisurely luncheon considered a vital restorative and will halt most activitities (including dungeon exploration) for mid-day repast
10. Prone to bitter complaints when exposed to the elements, doesn't know a tent from a hole in the ground
11. Strong percentage chance of successfully faking way through conversation on wide range of topics
12. Honors the hour at which it is customary for a gentleman/lady to partake of a stiff one

Unforeseen Financial Setbacks in the City

d12
1. New "adventurer's rate" at shops, inns, taverns and tradesmen: +1d100% to typical prices
2. Due to recently closed economy, hard currency must be exchanged (a small surcharge applies) for paper voucher system
3. Dweomer tax on all unregistered magic items entering city
4. To cover rising repair/policing costs, revelers must apply for a carousing licence (non-refundable fee), summarily revocable by city guard
5. Must purchase and sport customary attire to do any kind of business or risk committing a grave discourtesy
6. Roving packs of street arcanists enjoy employing reverse alchemy on the purses of visitors
7. Markets use auction model, professional shills up the bids on foreign buyers
8. Must choose between conversion to local religion or pay a one-time opt out fee
9. Healing available at temples but on sliding scale for each according to their means
10. Impenetrable legal code plus bribe-happy constabulary = retaining legal aid all but imperative
11. Carrying weapons disallowed, secure storage available during stay (w/rental agreement)
12. Vast sorcerer-controlled swarms of rodents seek ill-guarded wealth in the wee hours

Recent Edicts from the Usurper King

d12
1. Harvest festival cancelled due to mandatory training for unexpected launch of industrial revolution
2. Based on horrifying reports, construction to begin on new giant anti-monster walls w/huge extensible spikes, press gangs dispatched to round up workers
3. Exorbitant new adventurer tax to be levied on ne'er-do-wells entering city gates
4. Sunday shall henceforth be known as Gambling Day, observances at all local temples
5. Thieves' Guild officially disbanded, mass executions scheduled
6. Merrymaking now enforced by law
7. Strange and terrible new patron deity named, non-affiliated temples to burn
8. Commemorative statues of U.K. to be erected throughout city, summary execution of all vandals
9. Now hiring: thugs and cutthroats sought for band of elite enforcers
10. Highly-trained security ogres assigned to every corner to ensure public safety
11. Switch to silver standard announced, gold must be turned in to nearest collection station
12. Miss Usurper pageant to be held, entrants chosen by public beauty inspectors, up to 100 winners will be selected for compulsory harem duty

Hard Times for the City Folk

d12
1. Extortion by coven of powerful witches: sudden virgin depletion
2. City foundations undermined by unknown giant worm species
3. Virulent new strain of bread mold: mass psychedelic freak out
4. Currently inert titan slowly awakening beneath capitol dome
5. Giants handily defeat city guard, set up shabby encampment w/in walls, working on new city charter
6. Workers uprising: garbage piling up, mass shortages, city guard refusing to carry out heinous new measures
7. Recent slave mutiny put down by draconian measures: former duties undertaken by city guard, now also near revolt
8. Poor attack strategy by city guard = black pudding infestation, population has grown used to it
9. Preeminent local temple goes all Spanish Inquisition
10. The stars are right: significant % of population now openly evil cultists, mad bacchanalia ensues
11. Ancient king returns from perpetual underworld quest, fulfilling prophecy, but reincarnated in the body of otyugh
12. Ruling class (and known associates thereof) summarily executed: chaos reigns, new beggar king crowned

Cult Imperatives of the City Folk

d12
1. Daily blood tithe: collected by sub-sect of holy phlebotomists
2. Wear very tall shoes, everything on stilts, anything that touches earth: unclean
3. Only permissible nourishment: thrice-blessed health porridge
4. Vow of loquaciousness
5. Customary after-dinner holy hallucinogen
6. Daily recitation of litanies against hope, contentment and peace
7. Seduce infidels as much as possible
8. Secretly commit petty evil daily
9. Honor the hours of public nudity
10. Mass pilgrimage to underworld holy site: city guard excluded
11. Be kind to infidels, beat the crap out of sinners
12. Weekly ablutions in the bile of the swamp lord

Outrageous Attire of the City Folk

d12
1. Clothing decorated with delicately nurtured molds and fungi
2. Full body make-up + loincloth
3. Citizens festoon selves with bunko talismans of every description
4. Ridiculously baroque codpieces
5. A monocle for every occasion
6. Grotesque false noses
7. Peacock-like tail feather arrays
8. Mummified giant spider hats
9. Heavy bondage vibe: black leather, straps, buckles, spikes, dog collars, etc.
10. Men, women and children girded for battle 24/7
11. The measure of a man: mustachio size
12. Lowest caste in hierarchy: the pantsless ones

Peculiar Laws and Customs of the City Folk

d12
1. Compulsory singing of national anthem/fight song thrice daily
2. Incomprehensibly byzantine dietary restrictions based on astrology
3. Elaborate hand-jive accompanies all social interactions
4. Laughter forbidden: citizens strike themselves instead
5. Spectacle-addled society addicted to staged giant monster combats
6. All laws subject to debate when invoked, crowd adjudicates
7. First bite of food chewed and spat out to honor fallen homies
8. Greeting: slap in the face
9. Everyone wears see-through sarongs,  PDA omnipresent
10. Unspeakable personal hygiene hallmark of high society
11. Mandatory meditation upon sounding of colossal gong
12. Gods venerated before, during and after every conversation