Marks of Chaos 3: Ia!

d12
1. Body violently explodes and slowly reintegrates at random intervals
2. Extra-dimensional mouth contains d12 rather large tentacles
3. Changes form every d6 minutes (see subtable A)
4. Extra-sensory organs take up unused real estate on head: fleshy radar dishes, various antennae, less identifiable protuberances
5. Constantly fluctuating size/mass
6. New and different limbs growing in various stages of development
7. Thick viscous ichor perpetually streams from mouth, ears, nose, eyes
8. Deadly black radiations emanate from eyes
9. Speaks in several languages simultaneously on account of all the extra mouths
10. Body composed entirely of eyes of varied provenance
11. Huge horn-like growths adorn head (see subtable B)
12. Body composed of ever shifting multi-spectral light: hypnotic, may induce seizures

Subtable A: Changes in Form
d12
1-2 Giant brain w/spider legs
3-4 Levitating starfish w/single luminous eye
5-6 Housefly
7-8 Winged ape
9-10 Toga-clad youth of dazzling beauty, casting off golden light
11-12 Anthropomorphic red giant star

Subtable B: Head Adornments
1-2 Ram
3-4 Impala
5-6 Moose
7-8 Rhino
9-10 Stag beetle
11-12 Massive coral-like outcropping w/complete ecosystem

Marks of Chaos 2: Not So Subtle

d12
1. Tentacled lips
2. 1d10 extra digits per hand
3. Mustache of Chaos: several feet long on both sides, completely prehensile, form hand-shapes on ends
4. Blood bursts into flame upon contact with air
5. Poisonous body odor: quite lethal at point blank range
6. Absurdly over-developed musculature, exceedingly veiny and slick with perspiration
7. Body covered with innumerable sets of dragonfly wings: hovers at will
8. Three eyes, one each perceives past, present and future
9. Long-toed prehensile feet: custom footwear required
10. No neck: head levitates above body, capable of independent movement
11. Tapering cone of mist where legs should be
12. Half of body occupies alternate dimension at any given moment

Marks of Chaos 1: Subtle

d12
1. Eyes keep changing color
2. Needle-sharp body hair
3. Slightly peculiar body odor: not particularly offensive, just weird
4. Black blood
5. Exhales barely perceptible white smoke
6. Ice cold skin
7. Nails grow to sharp points if left untrimmed
8. Sheds tears of blood when so moved
9. Teeth made of flint: regular knapping required
10. Small additional mouth on end of tongue, capable of speech
11. Bat ears: hair-do can conceal, if desired
12. Dancing hair

Talents on Loan from the Gods: Divine Spells

d12
1. Steely Countenance of Affirmation: morale booster
2. (Involuntary) Bonds of Brotherhood
3. Momentary Cosmic Awareness: requires hours long ritual w/accompanying bells and whistles
4. Rolling Fog Bank of Purification
5. Irresistible Rebuke of the Unclean: sends enemies of patron deity packing, alive or undead
6. Dispel Rage
7. Stupefying Oratory: renders those in earshot insensible, can be kept up as long as speaker's endurance holds out
8. Geyser of Faith: high-pressure jet of blessed fluid surges from the caster's mouth
9. Serenity Ball: glowing heart-shaped bead flies from the caster's hand, detonating at range in a spherical blast of good vibrations
10. Miracle (situational): circumstances dictate effects
11. Prophetic Slumber: provides subject w/oracular dreams
12. Raise Dead, fleeting: lasts 1d6 minutes

Raise Dead: Weird Side Effects

d12
1. Stress-induced catatonia: saving throw each combat/traumatic situation
2. Speaks 1d6 random new languages, forgets 1d4 previously known
3. Daily temporary random limb paralysis (1d4, 1: l. arm 2: r. arm 3 l. leg 4 r. leg)
4. Hears whispers from the spirit realm
5. Believes self to be reincarnated as a duck (or something equally absurd), despite all evidence to the contrary
6. Heavy conversion experience to deity represented by presiding cleric, featuring full-on zealotry, unsurpassed fanaticism
7. Food requirement doubled, no longer requires sleep
8. Ability to detach spirit from corporeal form at will
9. Detects spirit-world disturbances, undead at range
10. Super-heroic courage of the fatalistic self-sacrificing variety
11. Molts: must slough off and regenerate soft tissues one weekend/month
12. Stench of the dead: attracts flies, vermin

Rustic Folkways of the Subsistence Farmers

d12
1. The measure of a man: beard length and fullness, mustachio optional, bachelor farmers rock wicked muttonchops
2. Active distrust for city-folk, organizations and institutions
3. War and fighting viewed as ways of slacking off
4. Witchcraft and magic use publicly regarded as unclean (unless, if secretly employed, it might help the harvest)
5. If it don't scare the herd-beasts...
6. Primogeniture rigidly enforced, younger siblings considered expendable
7. Leery of monetary exchange as too theoretical, prefer barter
8. Characteristically chew vast plugs of mildly psychoactive herb, much expectoration, jolliness
9. Stoical temperance widespread and rigidly socially reinforced, much glowering, seriousness
10. Strict seasonal lifestyle: intense periods of labor alternate w/weeks of full-time revelry
11. Ecstatic religiosity, intense piety, temple worship rarely shirked lest the harvest suffer
12. Devoted to pie

Why so dour, dwarf?

d12
1. Smaller than demi-human average pleasure centers in brain
2. Innate dwarf knowledge of life's dark underpinnings
3. Takes forever to digest anything due to metabolic imperatives
4. Serious beings just don't get off on screwing around
5. Reactionary stance re: elfish frivolity
6. Extremes of emotion inefficient not to mention unbecoming
7. The gods didn't make this universe for you to play in, man
8. Best not to get one's hopes up
9. Joviality and gem-cutting do not mix
10. Dwarf shoes crafted to be intentionally uncomfortable
11. Don't let the dwarf god catch you smiling
12. You think life sucks? Just wait until the afterlife!

Gonzo Class/Race, Additional

d12
1. Disembodied brain: spell-like abilities, must be toted in ichor-filled jar by servitor/ally at low levels, crafts increasingly awesome golem-like housings w/experience
2. Sun-dweller: covetous and capricious man-shaped flames, grows in brightness, size and power until able to sustain itself for journey to nearest star to complete reproductive cycle
3. Black otter: swift, sleek and deadly man-sized intelligent weasels, able to learn use of human weapons w/experience
4. Looter: expert smash and grab artists, unmatched abililty to flee the scene, XP for aquiring loot w/out bloodshed
5. Smilopithecene: saber-toothed hominid, ferocious, poor impulse control
6. Hireling: XP granted for torches carried and treasure hauled, unerring trap detection w/advancement
7. Underworld ranger: skilled in underground/preternatural environent survival, tracking, tactics
8. Ghost: incorporeal remnant of fallen character, fear power (as spell) at level one, XP for scaring the hell out of things
9. Half-shoggoth: sustains man-shape most times, shoggs out when rattled
10. Anthropomorphic bluejay: vicious and fearless, eternal enmity w/anthropomorphic ducks and penguins
11. Slug folk: occasionally deranged slug folk join adventures, an excretion for any occasion
12. Dungeon philosopher: must defend thesis for advancement, see In the Philosopher's Spell Book

More Gonzo Class/Race Options

d12
1. Repo man: sent by trans-cosmic order to secure artifacts for return to alternate dimensions, teleport at first level, comes with bag of holding and sidearm
2. Living vapor: damaged by magic, fire, must shelter from strong winds, etc., but otherwise invulnerable to standard physical attack, spell-like powers as MU, must interact w/physical objects by proxy, inscrutable
3. Reincarnate: deceased high level sorcerer takes over body of young ancestor, unable to memorize spells, but can cast from spell books/scrolls w/experience 
4. Moon man: luminous eyes as light spell at first level, additional moon powers w/experience, equipped with moon-metal weapons: maximum damage vs. lycanthropes, undead, moon creatures
5. Harpooner: nautical monster-hunter/big game specialist, expert at improvised anti-monster contraptions, Queequeg w/ broader experience
6. Half-ape: strength/agility bonus, intellectually negligible, 50% chance to forget about weapons in combat, easily rattled, frequent alcohol abuse
7. Transhuman: hyper-evolved, tall and bald w/extended fore brains, psychic, totally non-violent (not above instigating indirect violence, naturally)
8. Star explorer: marooned on D&D-type worlds, kit includes non-rechargeable ray gun, laser knife, food pellets, seeks means of interstellar travel/communication
9. Corruption: former high level MU/scientist reduced to level one abomination by experiment gone awry as in The Fly 
10. Feral human: expert at survival, improvised traps, sneak attacks, stealth, receptive language skills only, flees at the drop of a hat
11. Agent of Law: magic resistance starting at level one, charged by Prime Mover to hunt chaos, destroy the arcane, vulnerable to loss of sanity
12. Ooze man: native to distant star, pliable sack of protoplasm able to form body into useful shapes (keys, bludgeon, crowbar, etc.), very fond of humans who remind them of nano-cephalic hominoid servitors native to homeworld

Emergency Unusual Class/Race Generator

d12
1. Badgermen: the anti-hobbit, vicious and relentless fighters, must be dragged from combat
2. Peltast: expert hurlers of weaponry, 2 javelin attacks/round at level one
3. Ray fusilier: trained in all forms of ray-gun combat, melee weapons limited to stiletto
4. Gentleman/Lady: persons of refinement, education, sophistication, start game with 3d6 x 1000gp
5. Half-troll: slow regeneration, rubbery hide, claw attacks, unmentionable dietary requirements but otherwise alright
6. Impostor: jack-of-all-trades, chooses class each day as OD&D elf, but can only do magic via scrolls or spellbooks
7. Yeti ascetic: levitates in lotus position at first level, additional mental powers with experience
8. Strongman: fights unarmed or w/club, feats of strength, must continuously pump iron to maintain abilities
9. Woolly Neanderthal: furry hominids of average intellect and above average strength, druid-like powers at mid-to-high levels
10. Lunatic: beset by fantasy madness, enter berserk state as barbarian, immune to mind control
11. Intelligent hound: heightened senses, communicates like Lassie, faithful to and protective of PC or NPC at low levels
12. Were-pixie: change triggered by factor such as lunar phase, sunspot activity, equinox, etc., gains spells as MU when in pixie form

Human Frailties

d12
1. Over-inflated sense of self importance skews perception of most events
2. Extremely literal minded: always missing the subtleties
3. Chock full of bigotries as suited to social status
4. Wandering mind: thoughts drift about unreliably
5. Little regard for personal hygiene
6. Bad teeth: frequently "edgy"
7. Short-term memory shot, long term fairly patchy as well
8. Supremely self-confident w/out regard to personal deficits
9. Habitual use of mood elevators, mellowing agents
10. Gluttonous over-indulgence in most earthly pleasures
11. Big mouth: rattles on endlessly, lacks proper "indoor voice"
12. Irrepressibly evangelical re: personal biases

Pithy Dying Utterances: The Fighter

d12
1. "My labors are at an end now. Farewell! Oh, by the way, I buried a good deal of treasure near the...UURRK."
2. "Alas, I am killed! But I now swear by the dark gods of uttermost night, my shade shall harry our foes forever."
3. "Patron deity/celestial realm, I am coming!"
4. "Behold, it is my end. But do me one final service. Take my most awesome weapon and cast it into the  body of water/lava where it shall never be dishonored."
5. "And so! It is bitter. Never again shall I slay and plunder..."
6. "I die. But why? Why was it not irritating party member?"
7. "My only regret is that I have but one life to give for my party."
8. "It is a fitting end for such as I. Live by sword, die by the whatever killed him"
9. "I am finished. Only time now for one final war-shriek of defiance...GLLAAIIIIEEEEEE!!!"
10. "No, not now! Not when there is so much more gold to hoard, so many wineskins to drain, so many dark halls to plunder, so many . . ."
11. "Which one of you devils was supposed to pack the extra healing potion? Ha ha *choke*"
12. "It was my honor to storm the gates of hell with you lot. Well, except for irritating party member, who is a complete bastard."

How the Gang got Together

d12
1. Inflicted upon one another by multidisciplinary team of deities w/unknown agenda
2. Sudden trans-dimensional breach deposits all on campaign world of referee's choice
3. Met in queue for adventuring permits
4. Brought in separately by constabulary for variety of petty charges
5. At prominent aristocrat's ball: some as guests, others as the help and/or for larcenous purposes
6. Felicitous meeting after surviving (super-) natural disaster
7. Newly instituted draft by local regent requiring mandatory registration of all able bodied adults, leaving future party members sequestered w/other "suspicious persons"
8. Rounded up together in raid of den of ill-repute
9. Party arranged by cabal of power hungry sorcerers looking to acquire specific antiquities
10. Various misfortunes land nascent adventurers in stint as galley slaves
11. In the belly of titanic monster on inter-planar binge-and-purge bender
12. Collectively signed up for valueless adventuring class given by crew of doddering "old masters" as scheme to shore up dwindling retirement funds

Before First Level: Fighters

d12
1. Local militia offered little but the occasional drill, scampered off w/gear to go freelance
2. Born into war clan, scattered following rout against occupying forces, now incognito
3. Farmer turned to banditry at height of famine, found calling
4. Freed from domestic slavery in noble house after heroic acts in defense of city-state
5. Slipped mickey by army recruiters, survived campaign to wipe out otherwise irrepressible tribe for local lord
6. From tender age always erecting practice dummies and fashioning weapons from found materials
7. One of those jerks forever getting into fights for no reason, decided to make career of it
8. Stint as galley slave really built up the old arms, not to mention the total disregard for the sanctity of life
9. Brutality of early life in wilderness settlement mandated expertise in the hacking and slashing
10. Prodigy: slayin' came easy and early as bereaved parents of childhood acquaintances can attest
11. Deserted from imperial army after seeing too much: will never again fight for a cause, only money
12. Thrown out of family trade, barred from arcane academy, cast out of seminary, apprenticeship w/thieves' guild revoked, lute lessons went nowhere, disqualified from athletic training, humiliated after failed bid for local election, sacked from local guard, bought a sword

Before First Level: Elves

d12
1. Prolonged dreamy-eyed adolescence thinking cosmic thoughts, laughing and singing in the enchanted forest, then came boredom followed by ennui
2. Spent a century or so afflicted by a hereditary curse, now temporarily held at bay by dark sorcery
3. Bitter struggle for survival in harried enclave in contested territory: gaunt, humorless, talks like Christian Bale as Batman
4. Morally outraged by elfin politics-as-usual, abandoned elf-life for self-imposed exile among the lesser folk
5. Literary study in the library citadel grew wearisome after a couple of hundred years
6. As close to suicide as an elf gets before epiphany: discovered inner avarice, suppressed blood lust
7. Left homeland in disgust after failing to gain admittance to exclusive social order, self-esteem buoyed by hanging out with human riff-raff
8. Adventuring career just the latest in series of light-hearted larks
9. Emotionally unstable (for an elf), more at ease among the easily rattled humans and halflings
10. Protracted secret indoctrination, now embarked upon clandestine mission for elf supremecists
11. Accrued massive gambling debts during extended period of heavy partying
12. Shamed and humiliated by ruinous love triangle, seething with pent-up rage, spoiling for displaced vengeance and thirsting for riches and a new life

Before First Level: Dwarves

d12
1. Served mandatory 20 yrs. repairing/refining subterranean vaults w/dwarvish conservation corps
2. Dropped out of jewelry-making school in white-hot rage after public rebuke of works
3. Has finally gathered enough gems to buy family heirloom war axe from father
4. Fascinated by study of humans and their folkways, considers them amusing weirdos, cannot wait to join forces
5. Threw off yoke of cultural dourness while exhausting entertainment value of wine and song, wasted too much time to get rich by the standard means
6. Painstakingly hand crafted own tomb in the Hall of Fathers, performed ritual auto-funeral, ready for adventure
7. Spent youth in traditional crafting of personal tool kit (including arms and armor) for lifetime use in all endeavors, now fully fledged adult and ready for action
8. Driven by adolescent gold-lust, committed the unforgivable offense of hoard-theft to outfit self for adventure: caught, beaten, shaved of beard, permanently exiled
9. Retired from several careers, now looking for thrills, resume includes: militia, stone cutting, masonry, metal fabrication, food and hospitality service,
10. First dwarf to attempt to popularize notion of collective bargaining for workers, barely escaped series of assassination attempts, has had it w/his kind
11. Impoverished petty noble w/dwarvish enemies galore, 17th in line for throne, didn't like chances in high society
12. Content to grow beard and hammer rocks until afflicted w/permanent viral infection, manifests as low grade fever and severe wanderlust

Before First Level: Thieves

d12
1. Enthralled by the seedy underbelly of human life, enjoys vice of every kind, considers honest folk suckers
2. Kleptomaniac rich kid w/defiant streak a mile wide
3. Fell in with the wrong crowd, must steal to support habit
4. It started with stealing pies as child, rapidly became addicted to thrill, has since branched out
5. Trained by expert thief father: frequently chained to various objects and commanded to escape, sent to market w/long list and no cash, abandoned at bottom of sheer cliffs, etc.
6. Magpie-like affinity for shiny objects, obsession managed (poorly) by heavy drinking
7. Schooled in the evils of private property at heavily tattooed grandmother's knee
8. Found native culture stultifying and oppressive, turned to life of crime for kicks
9. Figured it was the only way a poor kid could retire before age thirty
10. Sincerely enjoys being sneaky
11. Comes from a long line of straight-up sociopaths
12. Mistakenly stolen by thieves as baby, reared by trio of doting yet dastardly "uncles"

Before First Level: The Cleric

d12
1. Indulged in habitual heresy and blasphemy until sudden divine visitation inspired terrified vows of fealty
2. Sold to local temple by destitute parents, granted entrance to order following lengthy period of servitude
3. Orphaned at tender age, sought shelter among esoteric brotherhood, fell under sway
4. Found (this particular) god at the bottom of continuously drained and replenished mug of grog
5. Harrowing psychedelic incident after consumption of moldy bread leads to cosmic revelation and subsequent total dedication to grooviest deity in pantheon
6. Healed by kindly cleric after near-fatal childhood injury
7. Took up with the holy ones to spite rationalist humanist parents
8. Sudden apoplexy while consulting temple scrolls, awoke to awed veneration of clergy: used by divinity to issue several important new revelations while comatose
9. Flirted with several deities and indulged in secular philosophy until sudden realization made lifelong service to Thor seem irrefutably imperative
10. You see, there was this vestal virgin...
11. Fate sealed at age 6 by ritual gift exchange on the high holy day: received toy mace and holy symbol, spent rest of holiday attempting to turn siblings and that was that
12. Above average wisdom score: in a world where the capricious influence of the gods is beyond debate or reasonable doubt, joining them is pure pragmatism

Before First Level: Magic Users

d12
1. Thrown out of several reputable academies, killed last headmaster to cross path and made off with spellbook
2. Woke up to find self fully vested member of arcane secret society after lengthy black lotus bender
3. Snuck into sorcerer's tower, captured and imprisoned in library until mastered first spell: took ten years
4. Well-connected parents employed graft and bribery to gain admission into exclusive training facility
5. Tormented in dreams from childhood by terrible outer being who trades nocturnal peace for pursuit of the mystic arts
6. Unquenchable lust for power from early age, long list of enemies to one day blast to smithereens
7. Turned wholeheartedly to sorcery after late-childhood revelation of secret lineage: witch-doctors, magi, necromancers, psychics, diabolists and even a vampire thrown in for good measure
8. Kidnapped and trained by hermit-mage after handily winning math competition at village fete
9. After witnessing injustices of the world, hates the gods and will devote researches to finding the magic bullet needed to dispense with them once and for all
10. Strong innate sense of the fullness of reality combined with major social inhibitions, threw self into studies and never came out
11. Vision following blow to head partially revealed cosmic mysteries, triggered lifelong pursuit of knowledge
12. Sole survivor of barbarian village destroyed by snake cult but far too congenitally feeble to even entertain revenge by the sword

Fighting-men: Why We Fight

d12
1. For honor and nation: personality nullified by grim nationalistic fervor, demands of rigorous ethical code and extreme stoicism
2. Gear fetish: because wicked swords and cruel axes are super bad ass
3. Thought it would help chances with the opposite sex: now haunted by shade of accidentally slain sweetheart
4. Given the choice, opted out of family pig shit hauling business
5. Religion requires tally of dead foes for preferred afterlife status
6. Comes from long line of proud occupants of early graves, now ready to seek own glorious end
7. Not much good at anything else, really
8. Highly competitive personality + thrill-seeking adrenalin addiction
9. Was the bloodthirstiest young aristocrat anybody had seen in some time
10. On account of the abundance of faces that are just begging for a damn good stabbing
11. Easy gold. Don't mind killin'.
12. Frequent exorcism of reptilian killer instincts in gore-soaked melee required for maintenance of otherwise considerable personal charm