Tuesday, June 10, 2014

More Weird Plants in the Underworld Garden

Note: Plants listed below possess erebosynthetic metabolisms, converting darkness to energy by an unknown and probably unholy process
1. Giant black vines, bean-like pods contain up to six vegetal brains encased in human-like skulls, lash out in self-defense with waves of mind-nullifying telepathy
2. Lurid phosphorescent glue-pot lilies produce a daily dollop of adhesive nectar, creates permanent molecular bond
3. Purple cabbages w/glowing green veins conceal 1d12 torpid cavern pixies, awakened in all of their eldritch malice by the presence of human greed
4. Hell's geraniums collect, produce condensed darkness, the nectar of uttermost night, weaponized into ebon powder by the subtlest subterranean humanoids
5. Giant underdaisies remain closed until swollen by particularly tasty blood sacrifice then bloom explosively releasing hundreds of vampire bats
6. Leafless cave trees produce no fruit but add a certain hideous ambiance with their twisting root-like limbs crisscrossing from floor to ceiling, providing habitat for giant song-birds
7. Sonic succulents cling to all surfaces, issue thunderous defense akin to deranged John Entwhistle bass solo, temporarily deafens humans who approach, cave behemoths dance
8. Thirsty vines maintain the deep red coloration of their majestic levitating bulb by snaking stealthily into wine-skins of passersby, draining them w/astonishing speed, occasionally downing the odd potion as well
9. Cave cows: ambulatory feeding pods attach to central stalk by tether-like tendrils, selectively graze upon less desirable underweeds, trolls milk them to make their terrible cheeses
10. Spectacular iridescent flowers exude powerful fragrance, attractive at a distance, lethal to humans at close range, produces euphoric stupor in giants, dragons, sometimes found in blissful repose nearby
11. Colossal pumpkin-like gourds with thick fibrous shells harvested by humanoids for conversion to domiciles portable via giant lizard-driven sledges
12. 1d12 dwarfs in various stages of development dangle fruit-like from the Dwarfmother Bush, adults maintain a pile of axes and hammers nearby, snapped up instantly by their freshly dropped siblings


  1. Mind bendingly amazing! Easily in your top ten posts.

  2. 1d12 kinds of cavern pixies, please!

  3. These are so good! I love that a campaign-bending concept can just come up in a random table like this. "Yeah, Dwarves are plants. Oh, you didn't know?"