Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Flesh for the Witch Queen

In lieu of a standard-issue d12 table, tonight's offering comes in the form of a Halloweeny one-page adventure (12 rooms in there, though).
Download at once!  While its still Halloween!
Flesh for the Witch Queen

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Yeah, but THESE Zombies....

1. Labor tirelessly on a colossal beehive-like structure of unknown design and purpose
2. Only devour other types of undead
3. Erupt with pressurized jets of noxious gases when punctured
4. Are so vastly ancient, their tissues so dessicated by time, they can only move a total of a few feet per day of unceasing effort
5. Walk effortlessly on walls and ceiling
6. Restrain and carry off living subjects for the necromancer's unspeakable experiments
7. Emit a constant barrage of literally mind-bending shrieks
8. Arise from the mass graves of great battle on each anniversary for grim reenactment
9. Carry the house of their strange master on their innumerable backs
10. Actively seek out select individuals for relentless pursuit and destruction, ignoring all others
11. Comprise the entire population of an otherwise normal fishing village, going about their daily routines as if nothing has happened
12. Have plenty to say on the deplorable conditions of the afterlife, if only someone would listen

Monday, October 29, 2012

Yeah, but THIS Mummy...

"I'm Nophru-Ka the Ancient Lord,
and I endorse this message."

1. Lashes out with extensible bandage to bind and entangle foes
2. Dribbles a trail of tiny black puddings from dessicated lips
3. Intends to reclaim time-lost dominion by presenting ancient but progressive policies and entirely sensible arguments to the land's current occupants
4. Upon awakening urgently seeks out those of high station to impart ancient prophecies of the utmost importance to the present day
5. Must restore its tissues in fortnightly baths of the purest virgin blood
6. Seeks out a party of bold adventurers to join, offering knowledge of untapped treasure troves from bygone eras
7. Makes immediate war upon all living things with no exceptions (yes, even plants) until extermination complete or destroyed
8. Crumbled into bits and pieces ages ago, all of which attack the living to the best of their ability
9. Reeks so offensively it could literally kill someone of fragile constitution
10. Upon revival sets itself to the task for which it was created: pyramid building
11. Lathered with fireproof embalming goo
12. Has hill giant size hands for manually decapitating tomb robbers

Sunday, October 28, 2012

More Unknown Spells

1. Charm of Advantageous Auto-Decapitation: caster's head detaches from body at will and floats around independently
2. Create Monkey Tail: recipient temporarily grows strong prehensile tail, able to wield weapons, aid in climbing, balance
3. Stench of Sorcery: non-magical creatures shy from caster as if from some supernatural menace
4. Incantation of Temporary Depravity: conjures up the Mr. Hyde lurking within target
5. Divine Emulation: allows caster to give the impression of immortal status, radiate light, float above the ground, adds celestial effect to voice, etc.
6. Sympathetic Countenance: induces feelings of pity, protectiveness, or benign indifference in the otherwise hostile
7. Bogus Divination: allows caster to convince others of ability to forecast future events
8. Invoke Epiphany: trained upon a troubled mind, provokes psychological breakthrough, reducing the judiciously chosen target to useless heap of self-recrimination
9. Unobtrusive Mental Probe: a targeted form of mind reading, allowing caster to extract specific piece of information from target's mind
10. Conjuration of Celebratory Enhancements: produces goodly amounts of perfectly acceptable booze
11. Wizard's Rations: produces one dozen nutritious food replacement pills, each good for one day's requirements
12. Mustachio of the Gods: creates supremely masculine facial adornment on the target styled in manner of the caster's choosing

Friday, October 26, 2012

Cursed Items Most Terrible

1. Spear of Undue Enthusiasm: terrific attack and damage bonus, user must continually resist urge to immediately shriek out battle cry and attack any enemy, regardless of numbers/advantage/etc.
2. Raygun of Instantaneous Exploding: erupts in blinding white hot blast followed by mushroom cloud when triggered, players duly warned off science-fantasy tropes
3. Bracers of Inconsolable Weeping: provide outstanding protection, but user slowly succumbs to despair until collapsing into disconsolate heap
4. Arrows of Collateral Damage: on a successful attack, does maximum damage to randomly determined comrade (or self, if alone)
5. Wand of Lightning and Amnesia: discharge renders the user as tabula rasa
6. Boots of Speed and Self-destruction: if, while zooming around, user approaches a cliff/high castle wall/etc. they must resist urge to fling themselves to oblivion
7. Helm of Impromptu Public Speaking: provides excellent cranial security but compels the wearer to make feelings known loudly and at all the wrong moments
8. Gleaming Mail of Utter Immobility: once donned, paralyzes muscles of wearer until removed by associates/enemies
9. Rod of Instant Megalomania: enhances charisma and self opinion to preternatural level, equally diminishing regard for fellows
10. Ring of Vanishing: wearer rendered invisible because of instant teleportation to unpleasant dimension of the referee's choice
11. Executioner's Axe of Unintentional Beheading: successful attack severs head from shoulders of randomly determined person w/in range
12. Girdle of Continuous Constriction: grants significant bonus to physical strength while gradually crushing innards

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

While the PCs Toiled Underground

1. The sun has dimmed: civilization scrambles, anarchic panic imminent, vampires rub hands in anticipatory glee
2. Sudden inexplicable arcane feedback renders all magic users not shielded beneath the earth irretrievably insane
3. Nightmare plague crawls up from the bowels of the earth, sweeps across continent
4. Homo Superior shows up, announces primacy: fully half the human population reveal themselves as the nature's new ruling class
5. New gods arrive, kick the crap out of some of the old standbys as example, begin massive purge of clergy, embark upon campaign of terror
6. International tumult in strategic zone rears ugly head, sets powers that be into apoplexy of saber-rattling, back pedalling and marshaling of every available force, martial law declared
7. Accidental penetration of subterranean cryogenic suspension menagerie triggers latest return of the dinosaurs who turn out to be not half as stupid as previously believed
8. Terror grips the city-state as robots from the future start teleporting in and murdering seemingly random individuals
9. Witch Queen shocks the world with demonstration of eldritch arsenal, air supremacy and list of unpleasant demands
10. The dead rise from their graves: totally uninterested in devouring the flesh of the living, they instead attempt to re-occupy former residences, make withdrawals from banking establishments, join the queue for bread at the bakery, show up for work, etc.
11. Reality breach! Planar collision swallows up opposite half of world, interdimensional invasion forces muster at ever-encroaching borderline, physical laws become increasingly unreliable
12. Sorry adventurers! Gold reduced to symbolic status, stripped of monetary value in favor of entirely imaginary state currency, declared property of the state, confiscated for secret stockpile

Monday, October 22, 2012

Items on the Witch's Utility Belt

1. Capsules filled with weaponized green slime powder
2. Small sack of rabid vampire bats conditioned to swarm, bite and obscure on command
3. Miniature quiver w/bundles of throwing needles envenomed with dream toxin
4. Ornate gorgon-bone snuff box with dose of powerful witch stimulant
5. Case of surgical implements of the finest quality
6. Roll of living twine capable of independent action
7. Wicked curved dagger with refillable reservoir of poison in pommel
8. Animate, levitating homunculus skull on twenty foot tether
9. Wineskin filled with fermented blood cordial
10. Pulsating adrenal gland of the swamp leviathan
11. Extra high-luminosity candles for Jack-O-Lantern
12.Satchel of child jerky and bone meal hard tack

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Patrons Now Hiring: Assassins

1. Enterprising extra-dimensional visitor looking to replace ruling class with androids
2. Under-appreciated demigod needs a hero shortage so he can fill the gap w/own exploits
3. Super rich plutocrat would like extensive list of dissenting voices permanently silenced
4. Demon in guise as messianic prophet requires extermination of kings, queens, emirs, autocrats, popes, lords, presidents, etc. for proper chaos to ensue
5. Wealthy serial killer currently chained to dungeon wall hiring by proxy (extremely well-paid agents) to ensure completion of bucket list
6. Dragon seeks to employ super-assassin or team to whack rival dragon and retrieve favored items from hoard
7. Chief god of the pantheon needs illegitimate offspring out of the way before his celestial wife finds out the extent of his philandering
8. Sorcerer hopes to attain supremacy by annihilating competitors and ascertaining their secrets
9. Symbolic leader of anarchist insurgency thought to actually be secret cabal, now scattered to numerous wilderness hiding places: not a single one can be suffered to live
10. Charlatan high priest needs idle threats issued publicly as "unholy curse" cunningly carried out to avoid career-destroying humiliation
11. Star chamber of research sorcerers have cracked code that will abolish chaos from the universe and prevent destruction of the (campaign) world: they (and their work) must never be seen again
12. Prognostication indicates incredibly dire future should certain individuals not yet born attain adulthood: for the sake of the nation, their parents must die

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Underworld Wilderness Dressing: Living

1. Ceiling rats scramble about overhead, occasionally dropping into hoods, backpacks, etc.
2. Gas-bag jellies harmlessly bobbling around zapping insects with electrical discharge
3. Dungeon magpies: highly intelligent but wits short-circuited by shiny objects
4. Disturbingly large pillbugs creep out of unseen hidey-holes to haul away the recent dead
5. Shell-less giant tortoises, extremely poisonous secretions made the shell redundant
6. Juggernaut cockroaches, non-aggressive, but natural defenses include reeking offensively and mimicking voices of nearby sentient creatures
7. Impoverished horde of dungeon pixies begging for alms, generous donors receive impromptu musical performance with astonishing production values
8. Research team taking various readings for sorcerer/scientist, interested in PC answers to a short survey
9. Giant hermit crabs disguised as huge boulders
10. Wall-adhered polyps of unknown origin: ooze a bit, occasionally whine
11. Red cavern weed: thermosynthetic, cluster around natural (and otherwise) heat sources, fronds wave around as if in stiff breeze
12. Troll head (quite alive) sticking out from underneath rubble of collapsed column

Friday, October 19, 2012

Instant Chimera

Table One: Body
1. Crocodile
2. T-rex
3. Giant porcupine
4. Rhino
5. Moose
6. Sasquatch
7. Ooze
8. Hill Giant
9. Giant slug
10. Colossal mantis
11. Cave bear
12. Giant ape

Table Two: Head (roll as desired for additional heads)
1. Flaming impala skull
2. Rabid pit bull
3. Snapping turtle
4. Vampire bat
5. Lamprey
6. Triceratops
7. Great white shark
8. Dragonfly nymph
9. Bighorn ram
10. The most vicious newt imaginable
11. Spider
12. Devil

Table Three: Special power
1. Ray of withering
2. Flaming bile
3. Searing eyebeams
4. Enveloped by corrosive cloud
5. Weeps poison tears
6. Head(s) can separate from body, attack independently
7. Sings hypnotic ditties
8. Launches teeth as exploding projectiles
9. Impenetrable hide
10. Emits darkness
11. Blood transmits lethal disease
12. Gaze causes heads to explode

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Street Weirdos in the Big City

1. Defrocked cleric of chaos w/tentacle beard rants and raves re: the end times (w/100% accuracy as it turns out)
2. The Outdoor Librarian: has books/scrolls/tablets/etchings/etc. on wide range of outré subjects stashed in nooks and crannies throughout city
3. Filthy, reeking, besotted ex-bard, knows a song on most every subject, lucid only for brief window each day
4. Huge ex-magic user, cast permanent enlarge on self before dedicating life to perpetual bender
5. The Human Pincushion: totally unharmed by slicing or stabbing attacks, likes to dare fighters to unarmored duels w/heavy wagering
6. High level pimp (ftr/mu/th), deranged on bad black lotus, on rampage of extreme random aggression
7. Man wearing armor made from street detritus wears stack of helms simultaneously, one of which is rather special
8. Former style consultant to the rich and famous gone psycho-killer using sewing needles dipped in nerve toxin
9. Ascetic panhandlers levitate in lotus position while calling out for alms telepathically
10. Emaciated ogre wearing false beard/heavy cloak to avoid detection sells items on blanket after secretly devouring former owners
11. Retired warrior of supreme talent renounced violence after religious awakening/mental breakdown, proselytizes to fighters relentlessly (if in any way wounded, goes completely berserk, killing everyone in sight with improvised weapons)
12. The Masked Agitator shrieks out anti-plutocratic screeds to all and sundry until city guard summoned, continues lecture while eviscerating pawns of the system then disappears into the night

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Assassins for Hire

1. Strangely long-limbed man in black wrappings: wrangler of deadly spiders and snakes
2. The world's most dangerous boy: ninja-like abilities, wisdom beyond his years, managed by evil stage father (semi-retired necromancer)
3. The Neck Snapper: heavily muscled thug with gargantuan hands and steel-trap mind
4. Master chef, creator of the most tempting, sophisticated and entirely deadly comestibles
5. Ascetic follower of the Black Pantheon, naked but for the briefest loinclout, expert practitioner of the Lethal Grasp
6. Dream shaman: coaxes living spirits into the shadow realm while they sleep, leaving a perfectly intact corpse with no discernible cause of death
7. Dandy, drunkard, raconteur, Lothario, unbelievable prodigy with the poisoned dart
8. Serial killer dedicated to self-mastery, highly talented but only 50% chance proposed victim will tickle fancy, otherwise will target potential employer at unspecified future time
9. Elaborately masked woman of delicate features and obvious refinement, extremely expensive: effects kills by entirely mysterious means
10. Master of 17 Weapons, never leaves home without genius weapons caddy/tactical advisor
11. Suspiciously tall-turbaned mental athlete with perpetually bugging eyes: kills using only mind, must focus on target for period of not less than one month
12. Stranglebeard the Hirsute Killer: gifted from birth w/fully animate (and freakishly copious) body hair

Monday, October 15, 2012

Yeah, but the gaze of THIS cockatrice...

1. Turns you to gold
2. Makes you a helpless thrall in service of the incomprehensible whims of the cockatrice
3. Nullifies cerebral tissues, leaving primal lizard brain 100% in charge
4. Melts bone
5. Disintegrates as per spell
6. Induces groovy attitude towards fellow creatures, inculcates a yearning for peace, love, tranquility
7. Reduces most sentient beings to blubbering heaps of inconsolable sadness, dwarfs go berserk and kill everything they see
8. Destroys good at metaphysical level, good creatures become evil, evil creatures purified of vestigial goodness
9. Turns you into random inert gas, sentient
10. Triggers and amplifies latent self-destructive urges, subject attempts to fall on own sword, sets off for nearest cliff/high tower, takes advantage of any available lethal options
11. Turns you into an adorable forest creature
12. Renders subject permanently incapable of reproduction, which both pleases and amuses the cockatrice a great deal indeed

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Unpleasant Callers at the Adventurers' HQ

1. Pre-dawn intrusion by drunk dungeon acquaintance w/axe to grind (possibly former hireling) and equally loaded gang of armed miscreants
2. Medium tortured by spirits of deceased enemies of PCs who will not rest while denied full airing of grievances
3. Hired assassins making clean sweep of possible loose cannons before employers attempt uprising against current powers-that-be
4. Bearer of bad tidings: in what might be a case of mistaken identity, messenger reports grisly murder of far flung PC relative
5. Government officials, accompanied by special attachment of elite warriors, come to inform PCs of revocation of adventuring licenses for some obscure political reason
6. Dark-robed and masked royal innoculators distribute mandatory anti-plague injections in response to outbreak, refusal results in arrest, imprisonment in wretched quarantine zone
7. Gang of youthful troublemakers vying for entrance into criminal organization, go out of their way to gain entry in hopes of securing an impressive trophy
8. Adventure tax collectors w/squad of bloodthirsty mercenaries present papers authorizing full audit, search and seizure
9. Gaggle of blissed-out religious fanatics called upon by unmentionable deity to convert PCs to cult if its the last thing they do
10. Candidates for trivial local offices (pauper council, alms department chief, street pudding abatement man) going door to door delivering their tiresome pitches
11. Salesman and shills attempting to move new and improved adventuring equipment at premium prices, high end mountaineering gear, specialized weapons and tools, 10, 11, and 12 foot poles, etc.
12. Debt collectors looking for previous occupants of residence, highly sceptical of PCs claims of identity, prepared for rough stuff as necessary

Friday, October 12, 2012

Stuck in the Giant Spider's Web

1. Husk of princeling dripping with semi-preserved, jewel-studded finery
2. Half-dead troll repeatedly bitten and stubbornly regenerating: spider, once thrilled with perpetually renewable food source, now seeking means to be rid of the rather unpalatable menace
3. Dead dungeon philosopher clutching manuscript proving conclusively that polytheist notion of the universe is elaborate charade carried out by singular malevolent supreme intelligence
4. Spell book inscribed with 1d4 unknown spells
5. Abandoned chainmail bikini
6. Evil sorcerer awaiting aid from diabolical associates, preserved in some kind of spider-proof time bubble after failing saving throw vs. poison
7. Groggy but unconquered cave giant half-covered in webs, poisoned several times but going down swinging
8. Envoy from surface empire bearing communique hinting at treacherous alliance with dungeon faction and plan for extermination of unpopular human populations for political gain
9. Disembodied head of wizard with pteranodon-like wings where ears should be, not quite dead
10. Ghost of dead adventurer that believes itself stuck in web, happy to be convinced otherwise
11. Spider's collection of mummified exes, imminent approach of current suitors in pheromone stupor
12. Dessicated halfling with magic ring of unknown provenance on chain around neck

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Fear-Induced Freak Outs

1. Flee unceasingly in beeline toward home and hearth while crying out for maternal assistance
2. Self-flagellating frenzy before collapsing into fetal position
3. Utterly berserk: attacks everyone and everything until victory or death
4. Infectious stampeding: unstable teammates, henchmen and hirelings must save or follow suit
5. Soil undergarments, google-eyed, gaping fright paralysis
6. Apoplexy w/heavy nose bleed, chance of death by shock
7. Fainting w/chance of permanent condition
8. Tries to bury self in earth
9. Hysterical shrieking and impotent flailing
10. Weeping and gnashing w/pathetic clinging to legs of others
11. Falls to knees, pleading desperately to wide range of gods for salvation despite any preexisting religious convictions
12. Only immediate restraint by fellows can prevent subject from embarking upon campaign of self-destruction

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Level Drain! Or Perhaps You'd Rather Take Your Chances

I actually deeply admire this man.
1. Intelligence drain: neural overload permanently damages cognition
2. Shrivelling tissues: shrinks muscle mass, impairs strength and stamina
3. System crash: slip into recuperative coma (1d6 hours) while operating system reboots
4. Temporary insanity of the helplessly babbling variety (1d6 hours), may be warded off by heavy drinking
5. Hair turns white, blind panic (1d6 minutes), permanent terror of the undead
6. Withered aspect: each successful attack propels victim's appearance one step closer toward Keith Richards'
7. Soul destroyed: ramifications of soulless condition to be determined by referee
8. Pluses Shall Be Splintered: magic item/weapon permanently expends enchantment protecting character from harm (roll again if no item in possession)
9. Spectral fading: subject gradually becomes transparent, left untreated, fades away entirely
10. Rendered emotionally null and void: joie de vivre measurably diminished, food turns to ashes in mouth, getting drunk just enhances melancholy, save to avoid self-destructive ideations
11. Wight lung: starts w/hacking cough rapidly followed by wheezing, swiftly accompanied by gurgling and gasping, abrupt fatal suffocation (if left untreated)
12. Become temporary thrall of attacking entity (until either thrall or master is destroyed)

Monday, October 8, 2012

Secret Monsters in the Big City

1. Wyvern in sub-mansion cavern flown nightly by half-crazed masked plutocrat waging war on vagrancy
2. Demigod, virtually unrecognizable: enjoying protracted period of seclusion as unkempt perpetual saloon patron, goes on monthly rampages with astonishing body counts
3. Vampire w/seat on city council and impeccable record of gentility
4. Small population of invisible ghouls, known only to the elite, survivors of previous civilization with enough secret knowledge to safely demand human flesh required for sustenance
5. Dragon magically shackled and imprisoned beneath palace, supplies raw materials for sorcery: blood, bile, ichor, shed scales and talons
6. Squadron of gargoyles wait in silent hope for an attempt to breach castle keep's defenses
7. Lich remains at large in royal library, magically disguised/concealed: alternately helpful with research projects and capriciously deadly should patrons offend his literary sensibilities
8. Inn's cellar houses colossal black pudding, handles waste disposal and provides active ingredient for salty black bread offered free w/purchase of drink
9. Expert armorer to the rich and famous assisted by magically enslaved clan of fire dwarfs awaiting opportunity to avenge themselves by burning city to the ground
10. City Vice Czar actually half-devil overcompensating and only able to contain Jack the Ripper tendencies for so long
11. Real child-eating witch slinks from gutter to roof top, replacing devoured tykes with identical soulless ones who bide time until adulthood when all hell breaks loose
12. Artist of stupendous talent actually terrifically self-involved demon more interested in approbation than overt evil

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Wanted: Dead or Alive in the Big City

1. For treason: highly satirical bard with broad fan-base among the city's youth
2. For blasphemy: gaggle of impish street waifs who seem to delight in defacing holy sites
3. For adultery: wanton spouse of city official, now in hiding w/one of many lovers
4. For loan racketeering: extremely clever and elusive Masked Money-changer, protected by hired assassins
5. For illegal arms dealing: former dwarf lord with connections living in exile in thieves' quarter
6. For kidnapping: giant chambered nautiloid w/mind control powers operating in city sewers
7. For unlawful sorcery: recently sacked sub-vizier, popular astrologer to the upper classes
8. For ESP-detected thought crimes: high priest of minor chaos temple
9. For molestation of a person of greater social station: Gandhi-like hero to the underclasses
10. For extortion: entirety of local shipping guild, services being replaced by navy
11. For failure to honor holy days: retired war hero notable for outspoken skepticism
12. For tax evasion: occupants of the rather scary looking ancient mansion on the hill, surrounded by beast-populated moat w/semi-human figures patrolling grounds by night

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Odd Jobs for Fast Cash in the Big City

1. Cult offers handsome bounty for clandestine desecration of rival temples
2. Short stint as muscle for criminal organization involved in negotiations w/similar group regarding overlapping territory
3. City government hiring freelance tax collectors for difficult accounts, paid by commission
4. Sewer patrol looking for assistance in cesspit pudding abatement
5. Temporary executioners sought after blood-soaked riot in city prisons simultaneously reduced staffing and sent death penalty cases through the roof
6. Brutal sadists needed for construction foremen positions, experience with whip a plus
7. Rewards available for list of known criminals still at large (bounty hunting licensing fee deducted from first capture)
8. Per diem workers needed for morning cleanup of high-mayhem streets/districts (Ambush Lane, Murder Street, Hell's Bunker, etc.) during festival season: bring your own high boots, strong stomach
9. Grave diggers always needed
10. City exterminators bolstering crews due to rampant urban stirge infestation
11. Black lotus dealer needs lesson taught to upstart competitors
12. Phlebotomists in employ of genteel vampire buying blood by the pint

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Who or What is the Puppet Master Behind The Man-Ape Menace?

1. Chaotic demigod scraping the bottom of the barrel for the easily awed
2. Evolution-obsessed sorcerer testing super-man-ape prototypes in minor raids
3. Mutant man-ape genius with nation-building ambition, venerated by fellows w/messianic fervor, uniting population one clan at a time
4. Quasi-lich: disembodied animus of antediluvian man-ape shaman
5. Highly charismatic human cleric, defrocked for heresy by major cult, w/talent for talking down and plans for new Holy Empire
6. Dinosaur ghost incites man-apes to wanton violence using dream projection, instigating the chaos prophesied to precede latest Age of Reptiles
7. Enterprising gaggle of impecunious halflings via rigged up talking idol: spews real smoke and flames when unappeased by sacrifices of golden treasures
8. Hypnotic worm-beings native to underworld demand fresh delivery of surface delicacies obtainable (to man-apes) only by mischief
9. Big city plutocrats pay off man-ape chiefs with deliveries of substandard food to harry the underclasses outside the city walls, reinforcing dependency on plutocrat controlled armed forces and willingness to fork over additional taxes
10. Wicked noble, ousted from office by lawful lord, seeks to control enough man-ape clans to execute construction of new stronghold, raiding for capital
11. Outbreak of intelligent brain virus with power of mind control: man-apes steal raw materials for spaceship manufacture
12. Dwarf arms dealers making a killing selling to both sides

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Things in the Giant Carnivorous Bowerbird's Display

Bowerbirds: I was totally ignorant until enlightened by David Attenborough

1. Awesome center piece: missing fragment of powerful artifact, much sought after by variety of factions
2. Carefully arranged stacks of human-type skulls
3. Pair of extra-large gongs of various description, each fit for the most opulent palace
4. Stone tablets inscribed w/scientific knowledge recorded by prehumans naturally talented in astrophysics
5. Tastefully scattered heaps of golden treasures
6. Dessicated husks of giant spiders in menacing poses
7. Polearms of every stripe jammed into the ground business end up
8. Huge feathers plucked from the carcasses of rival males
9. Stacks of plate armor, shields: slightly worse for wear
10. Wagon wheels and axles upon which unfortunate travellers spin secured by lengths of flowering vines
11. Entrails of various origin dangling from bower superstructure
12. Imperial army helmets in semi-circular design, sorted by rank

Monday, October 1, 2012

Current Occupants of the Ancient King's Tomb

1. Secret meeting place for halfling conspirators: plot calls for bloody uprising against snooty plutocrats back in the shire, equitable redistribution of wealth, many small instruments of war stockpiled
2. Escapees from imperial chain gang holing up for the night: murderous wretches willing to do anything to avoid capture up to and including bearing torches and 10' poles for pitiless adventurers
3. Powerful mystic enduring year long fast while levitating in lotus position, somewhat irritated if disturbed
4. Troll with unpleasant proclivity for crafting and displaying dolls fashioned from the remains of his victims
5. Lone hill giant, former chief ousted in coup led by dastardly rival, fomenting vengeance while lying on belly in cramped crypt
6. Refitted into shabby temple to chaos gods by man-apes just getting into the religion thing
7. Spiritual infestation by hateful shades of those slaughtered in purges during the ancient king's reign
8. Annexed by predatory subterranean worms for use as larder: filled to the brim w/underworld prey creatures living (for freshness) and dead
9. Clutch of very large eggs of unknown provenance
10. Gaggle of transient performers: lost and on the verge of starvation, numbers reduced due to monster predation, still up for putting on a show at a moments notice
11. God of the Rats: crazed wizard bearing ancient king's crown and scepter, worshipped as a god by great hordes of permanently ensorceled giant rats, carry him around crowd surfing style, see to every need
12. Undead form of the ancient king, subject to instant destruction if he leaves the crypt, but perfectly amicable, talkative and totally uninterested in devouring the flesh of the living