Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Fear-Induced Freak Outs

1. Flee unceasingly in beeline toward home and hearth while crying out for maternal assistance
2. Self-flagellating frenzy before collapsing into fetal position
3. Utterly berserk: attacks everyone and everything until victory or death
4. Infectious stampeding: unstable teammates, henchmen and hirelings must save or follow suit
5. Soil undergarments, google-eyed, gaping fright paralysis
6. Apoplexy w/heavy nose bleed, chance of death by shock
7. Fainting w/chance of permanent condition
8. Tries to bury self in earth
9. Hysterical shrieking and impotent flailing
10. Weeping and gnashing w/pathetic clinging to legs of others
11. Falls to knees, pleading desperately to wide range of gods for salvation despite any preexisting religious convictions
12. Only immediate restraint by fellows can prevent subject from embarking upon campaign of self-destruction

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