Featured on the Wilderness Map

d12
1. Colossal Spruce: towering evergreen, cult of druids worship gigantic pine cone growing several hundred feet up as nascent deity
2. Iron Mountain: massive meteorite, possible trigger of ancient apocalypse, sole source of heavy metals, riddled with mines, source of perpetual conflict between powers
3. Slag Lands: ever shifting islands on sea of lava, populated by warring sub-species of cinder-men, league of sorcerers maintains network of hovering laboratories
4. Ruins of the Formerly Levitating City: crash landed on Pleistocene Island
5. Homoncumulus clouds: zone covered by continuously renewing imp-shaped formations said to be the ghost-forms of dead devils
6. Megastorm Valley: vast swath of wind-ravaged ruin, path of constant Red Spot of Jupiter-type perma-storm
7. Artificial Ocean: greatest achievement of extinct merman civilization
8. Quakelands: zone beset by continuous seismic tumult, landscape reduced to jumble of friction-polished boulders
9. Pockmarked Plain: riddled by unpredictable colossal sinkholes leading to fiery center of the earth
10. Glass Dunes: site of ancient partial corporeal manifestation of the sun god, mandatory pilgrimage undertaken by sun-worshippers
11. Castle of Salt: cursed by easily offended gods, structure and everything within (including population, livestock) transmuted into statues of sodium
12. Great Barrier Wall

Weird Waters

d12
1. Lake of Infinite Depth: nexus point with water world in distant galaxy
2. Phlegmatic River: emerges from great cavern, flows to vast sinkhole, renders any who touch its waters indifferent
3. Levitating Sea: hovers at consistent 1000 feet, predatory giant jellyfish troll the land for prey
4. Spring of Infertility: waters much sought after by those conspiring to end bloodlines
5. Stagnant River: broad and deep, it just sits there growing ever stinkier
6. Straight of Standing Waves: ever-tempting as a shortcut, unbelievably treacherous, several maps available indicating meandering paths of relative survivability
7. The Silent Cataract: boat-rending rapids hiding around a bend like a booby-trap
8. The Devil's Stewpot: hot spring-fed pools teeming with unpleasant proto-life
9. Fen of Euphoria: waters impart perpetual state of dopey bliss, intestinal parasites
10. Reservoir of the Gods: fills vast caldera of extinct, Everest-size volcano
11. Carnivorous Marsh: teeming w/visible bacteria, act collectively to lunge at passersby
12. Pond of Chaos: home to the world's tiniest kraken and other wee horrors

Recently Swallowed by the Mile-long Serpent

d12
1. The only cleric capable of restoring the monarch to mental and physical health
2. Several heads of state thought to be at secret meeting
3. Wagon full of wine barrels desperately needed for local festival
4. Demigod's arms and armor worn by (deceased) impostor
5. Total population of migratory herd beasts including the prophesied sacred calf
6. Band of heroes hidden inside a giant wooden mouse
7. Caravan transporting sacred relic for holy day festivities in capitol city
8. Stone sarcophagus containing mummy of ancient king that will plague the living with 1000 curses should the seal be broken
9. Crash-landed flying saucer containing envoys from advanced civilization w/dire warning re: imminent arrival of blind idiot space gods
10. Entire tower of an infamous sorcerer rumored to have made revolutionary breakthroughs in arcane arts and sciences
11. The royal librarian and a great swath of the royal collection including several invaluable/irreplaceable volumes
12. Pirate vessel and ship's compliment, just made port following extremely profitable reign of terror

In the Saloon

d12
1. Depraved cretins w/strong sense of entitlement (2d4)
2. Tavern sage holds down corner of bar: answers simple questions for a drink, buy a round for the house for more complex inquiries
3. Surly drunks embittered by years of being surly (2d4)
4. Some guy who's really loud and thinks he's hilarious
5. Raucous gaggle of pickpockets emboldened by drink
6. Black lotus addicts waiting around for their connection to show, rather edgy
7. The guy who has strident opinions on anything he happens to overhear, not a particularly deep thinker
8. Pack of ruthless, armed-to-the-teeth dwarfs celebrating successful delve
9. Inebriated laborers fomenting uprising, much speechifying and little regard for alternate opinions
10. Tattoo artist plying trade in well-lit corner: save vs. infectious diseases, heavily inked sycophants openly question the machismo of the un-inked
11. None of the regular patrons mess with the strangely lumpy hooded figure at the out-of-the-way table who orders and downs ale after ale, would rather feign a fainting spell than even acknowledge the existence of this perpetually thirsty entity
12. Off-duty assassins amusing themselves by subtly pitting various patrons against one another then sitting back to enjoy the ensuing mayhem

Flora in the Garden of Death

d12
1. Dead-eyed Susans: crack shots with corrosive pollen loads
2. Hangman's gardenias: giant flowers contract around victim's head to commence strangulation
3. Sarcophagus bulbs: hypnotic pollen compels victims to entomb themselves in hinged bulb as living fertilizer
4. Tulips of terror: impressionistic skulls and nightmare imagery adorn the petals, fragrance induces fear and panic
5. Stench pumpkins: cultivated for use as catapult ammunition by kobolds or other humanoids who live to irritate
6. Eye-seeking pansies: grow from eye sockets of heaped skulls, seeds swarm upon insect-like wings, lodge selves in eyes of victim, who is blinded but at least has a lovely arrangement sprouting from eye-holes
7. Dagger bush: leafless tangle of branches w/huge wicked curving thorns: suddenly spring to fully animate attack when approached
8. Dancing cacti: human-sized and engaged in perpetual choreography, will attempt to drag observers into the ritual
9. Tomb tree: menacing mass of roots at base of trunk parts to reveal natural shelves of corpses within, stored in perfect preservation for an unknown purpose
10. Mimic grass: collectively arranged blades to produce mirror image of observer, respond to command to recall images of past visitors
11. Buzz-saw sunflowers: launches spinning flowers w/razor sharp petals, aims to sever neck of victim (possible symbiotic relationship with 6, above)
12. Venus Soul Trap: fills minds of victims with soothing music and imagery while its tendrils snake up nostrils to remove soul from behind pineal gland

Things in the Giant Carnivorous Bowerbird's Display

Bowerbirds: I was totally ignorant until enlightened by David Attenborough

d12
1. Awesome center piece: missing fragment of powerful artifact, much sought after by variety of factions
2. Carefully arranged stacks of human-type skulls
3. Pair of extra-large gongs of various description, each fit for the most opulent palace
4. Stone tablets inscribed w/scientific knowledge recorded by prehumans naturally talented in astrophysics
5. Tastefully scattered heaps of golden treasures
6. Dessicated husks of giant spiders in menacing poses
7. Polearms of every stripe jammed into the ground business end up
8. Huge feathers plucked from the carcasses of rival males
9. Stacks of plate armor, shields: slightly worse for wear
10. Wagon wheels and axles upon which unfortunate travellers spin secured by lengths of flowering vines
11. Entrails of various origin dangling from bower superstructure
12. Imperial army helmets in semi-circular design, sorted by rank

Current Occupants of the Ancient King's Tomb

d12
1. Secret meeting place for halfling conspirators: plot calls for bloody uprising against snooty plutocrats back in the shire, equitable redistribution of wealth, many small instruments of war stockpiled
2. Escapees from imperial chain gang holing up for the night: murderous wretches willing to do anything to avoid capture up to and including bearing torches and 10' poles for pitiless adventurers
3. Powerful mystic enduring year long fast while levitating in lotus position, somewhat irritated if disturbed
4. Troll with unpleasant proclivity for crafting and displaying dolls fashioned from the remains of his victims
5. Lone hill giant, former chief ousted in coup led by dastardly rival, fomenting vengeance while lying on belly in cramped crypt
6. Refitted into shabby temple to chaos gods by man-apes just getting into the religion thing
7. Spiritual infestation by hateful shades of those slaughtered in purges during the ancient king's reign
8. Annexed by predatory subterranean worms for use as larder: filled to the brim w/underworld prey creatures living (for freshness) and dead
9. Clutch of very large eggs of unknown provenance
10. Gaggle of transient performers: lost and on the verge of starvation, numbers reduced due to monster predation, still up for putting on a show at a moments notice
11. God of the Rats: crazed wizard bearing ancient king's crown and scepter, worshipped as a god by great hordes of permanently ensorceled giant rats, carry him around crowd surfing style, see to every need
12. Undead form of the ancient king, subject to instant destruction if he leaves the crypt, but perfectly amicable, talkative and totally uninterested in devouring the flesh of the living

Under the Floorboards of the Abandoned Shack

d12
1. Service entrance to the goblin bowling alley
2. Trap door to secret chaos temple doing the hard sell w/local man-ape population: great stockpiles of poor iron weapons, great vats of the thinnest gruel, crude unholy symbols and idols for free distribution
3. Crop of psio-active fungi and slug-man farmer in the employ of wealthy sorcerer
4. Refugee encampment of displaced dungeon pixies in search of new digs, starving, wretched, still vicious
5. Mouldering skeletons and earth-bound spirits: victims of long dead serial killer whose hateful spirit still stalks the countryside
6. Sizable fragment of clay tablet w/cuneiform directions to ancient king's burial mound, tantalizing descriptions of royal grave goods, dire warnings about undead crocodiles
7. Shaft descends, terminates in vast water-filled cavern, ceiling marred by rather large claw marks
8. Disused access tunnel to gray dwarf mine shaft, breached from below and filled with lethal gas
9. 1d12 ghouls sleeping off a bout of epic gluttony, upside: you've found the missing couriers!
10. Indescribable stench emanating from peculiar iridescent stain in the earth: demi-living remains of extradimensional entity, still capable of possessing minds for its own amusement
11. Heavy stone slab covering crypt w/desecrated sarcophagus containing inert vampire w/stake through heart
12. Deceased super-hero's underground headquarters

What are Those Strange Lights in the Forest?

d12
1. Assembled ghosts of those who perished bitterly in these woods collectively ignite forest fire via pyrokinesis
2. Prancing ogres w/jars full of fireflies conduct some kind of unpleasant mating ritual
3. Lantern light filtered through a preternatural fog that cascades from the mouth of the singular lantern-bearer
4. Luminous floating brains, agents of observation from another dimension, probe their surroundings w/dancing arcs of electricity
5. Slender gray anthropoids emit pulsating lights from their enormous eyes, hypnotizing and enslaving forest creatures for some evil purpose
6. Procession of man-apes led by glowing spirit guides stagger toward their debased version of the promised land
7. Lightning squirrels dealing w/predators in their signature style
8. Flashes emanate from depths of recently opened colossal worm tunnel
9. Intermittent space-time portals crackling in and out of existence in random locations, created from without by an unknown agency
10. Pixie swarm suffers from strange communicable disease, final stage: spontaneous combustion
11. Multiple roving wizard eyes search high and low for an object of vital importance
12. Spell-battle rages between rival insect wizards

Why They Built that Giant Wall

d12
1. Shield against much-publicized catastrophic flood event that will not occur for another thousand years
2. To protect the Crypts of the Gods from unwanted intrusion
3. To keep the dinosaurs in: inner wall festooned with special anti-lizard weaponry
4. To keep the land's titanic original monarch out: loaded w/warding magic
5. As a barrier against the highly aggressive, intellectually challenged martial society teeming beyond
6. Remnant of continent-encircling anti-magic dome of the ancients
7. To direct lava flows from currently dormant volcano as aqueduct toward enemy cities
8. Following commandment from deity, to divide the people into divergent tribes for an inscrutable purpose
9. Civilization A was all about loud parties and blood sacrifice, civilization B thought the generations-long wall project well worth the effort
10. Gigantic toll wall erected by giants back in their entirely forgotten heyday
11. As a winding temple to once-preeminent snake god, whose vast skeleton remains housed within
12. To permanently isolate hermetic order of yeti ascetics, largely successful, much serenity beyond

Those Blood-curdling Screams off in the Distance are Actually....

d12
1. Shriek-bats in a feeding frenzy
2. Courtship hollers of feral halflings
3. Freshly-hatched cockatrice chicks exercising their lungs
4. Rehearsal for sub-humanoid choir at ramshackle temple to their obscene deity
5. Mimic-apes having a laugh
6. Bored and drunk vampires amusing themselves
7. The sounds of an arcane gateway opening up to a hellish nightmare realm
8. Echoes of metal-on-metal from a giant filing the blade on mammoth axe to a slightly-less-dull edge
9. Agonized yelps of new recruits being "branded in" to bandit organization
10. Ogres enjoying a game of Thumbscrew Challenge
11. Capricious wind-spirit that moves continuously further off trail
12. Genuine final vocalizations of doomed monster-attack victims: sure, you could run off to save them but you'd be far, far too late

Weird Farmers

d12
1. Dunkel the dirt farmer's got a third eye that sees only the truth
2. Gurter the tiller has few friends, all of them rather credulous ghosts: he can convince them of just about anything
3. Ah-ah, feral master of the plum grove has a single incredibly strong arm growing out of the middle of his chest: he's killed several in arm-wrestling exhibitions
4. Zat the bat herder shares an uncanny bond with the creatures of the night
5. Y'ruk's turnip fields are guarded by huge black stag who may or may not actually breath fire
6. Bro Craglor's secret to bountiful harvests: surrounding fields with circle of gently killed pixies
7. Widowed Zondor Kroom's seven sons wear wraps to conceal their snake-beards
8. Awful Gonofle grows spell components on the side in exchange for zombie night-labor
9. Caloo Barleyfield murders wanderers and scatters their bodies in his fields to encourage swamp-ape soil fertilization
10. Ahkdar's fields go untended since the sinkhole opened up but he's jollier than ever
11. By some unknown innate power Yeeurg the root harvester can speak every known language + several unknown
12. Loaf Landus seems to sleep all day, yet somehow always has the best cart at market, rivals willing to pool their resources for assassination fees

Random Dead Bodies (Wilderness)

d12
1. Hill giants in a heap w/drained vessels in their hands (they drank the Kool-Aid)
2. Numerous normal bats scattered about full of tiny black arrows
3. Circle of dead scavengers (hyenas, jackals, vultures, etc.) who failed their saves after sampling the decomposing abomination
4. Smashed sailing vessel w/full compliment of dead sailors: far from water, as if dropped from a great height
5. Adventuring party w/hirelings encased in some kind of hardened goo: seemingly frozen in mid-stride
6. Barbarian hunting party: skeletons & clothing intact, flesh melted clean away
7. Bat-winged dwarfs drop dead from out of the sky
8. Large number of small humanoids seem to have exploded individually
9. Several adventurers hang from (inanimate) tree, branches clenched around their necks
10. Hidden one-by-one under neatly piled leaves: perfectly intact naked human bodies painted w/elaborate mystic sigils
11. Warrior in shining armor marches on silently despite being stone dead
12. 100 ft. diameter death zone: withered trees & plants, fallen birds, deceased forest creatures, expired insects, even the microbes snuffed it within

It Luxuriates in the Great Caldera

d12
1. Gestating giant sun-dweller egg
2. Ice titan on holiday loosens up strained muscles, sips drinks
3. Anaerobic bacterium the size of a house
4. Smoldering coal-cranes hunt flame-tongued cinder frogs
5. Blossoming garden of silicon-based vegetation including several black trees full of cherry-bombs
6. Team of lava dogs harnessed to sledge await the return of their master
7. Huge flaming ape
8. Antediluvian sorcerer-king in stasis, suspended in semi-permanent globe of invulnerability
9.  Sentient vapor: uses caldera as base of operations for terrorizing surface dwellers
10. Super-colony of adamant wasps
11. Colossal manta ray-like thermophage prevents massive eruption by constant feeding, defends self with jets of volcanic gases via dorsal vents, extrudes raw gems
12. Giant fire god dying of old age: immobilized by the ravages of eons, willing to whisper secrets to the reverent

Haunting the Skies

d12
1. Unidentified flying discs: actually bioluminescent aero-mollusks
2. Majestic mega-condor: soars at dizzying heights, domesticated for troop transport by the mountain lords
3. Cloud striders: like daddy-longlegs on a titanic scale
4. Eclipsers: swarms of bat-like spirits ready, willing and able to create artificial eclipses when the mood strikes them
5. Colossal aero-virus: patrols territory, spewing its foul seed on passing flocks of birds, aerial creatures
6. The stratopus: octopoid creature of tremendous size, suspended aloft by inflated gas-bag head, genius intellect, excellent camouflage
7. Ghost cloud: aggregate of disgruntled spirits joined together for maximum mayhem
8. Storm seeders: flying reptiles, capriciously issue loads of silver iodide bile into cloud banks
9. Sentient satellite: larger than average asteroid in low orbit, composition rich in living metal, overwhelming multiple personality issues
10. Cirrocumulus formation of flying skulls, hallmark of the death god ascendant
11. Vicious falcon-man pterodactyl wranglers
12. Sky barge drawn by one million individually tethered hummingbirds in a perpetual nectar-mist

The Isolated Village has a Dark Secret

d12
1. Built upon ancient halfling burial ground
2. Barley fields must be soaked in sacrificial blood: every crime or misdemeanor carries death penalty
3. Dark lineage dating back to antediluvian civilization, secretly keep traditions alive, hatch schemes to depopulate region, stockpile poisons
4. Ubiquitous witchery: hexes and charms fly about willy nilly
5. Rampant perversity after nightfall, outsiders welcome
6. New generation of children preternaturally intelligent and fully in charge
7. Universally shared mutation: second mouth in chest concealed by tunic, mutter to each other in unknown language
8. Lycanthropy = STD
9. Celebrate monthly festival of murder
10. Militia drills by moonlight, seems to practice human wave tactics, visiting commanding officers of dubious aspect
11. Population descended from crashed starship crew, deranged captain kept artificially alive in forbidden hall
12. Whole village front for criminal enterprise: import/export contraband to subterranean enemies of humankind via entrance to underworld beneath grand mead hall

Occupants of the Colossal Ancient UFO Anchored to the Mountaintop

d12
1. Bat-winged dwarfs stream out at night fall to forage for raw materials, scrap heap of ship's walls, superstructure forms on the slopes below, they've got some kind of weird project going on
2. Sorcerer's bio-lab: on board technologies retrofitted into Frankensteinian operation, results of experiments teleported to surface for eco-trials
3. Colossal spacemen inert upon their jump couches, may be revived by lightning bolt defibrillation
4. Haunted by ghosts of space-weary sojourners, delighted to impart cryptic knowledge
5. Warring deities from competing pantheons hoping to gain neo-Olympus-style HQ
6. Hopeful sky pirates and hired arcane talent work to gain control of ship's functions: planning careers as bungee raiders
7. Taken over by necromancer and his all-skeleton crew who hopes to drag Earth into the sun
8. Craft filled with water, set up to sustain aquatic life, original crew dead but their native bacteria fared better, have made bold evolutionary moves
9. Countless broomsticks hover nearby: site of the First Annual World Witchcraft Convention, by clandestine invite only
10. Interior filled with alien atmosphere: dire environmental consequences if released
11. Ship's anchor line enveloped in spider silk, every exterior nook and cranny acrawl w/giant arachnids drawn by a mysterious intelligence within
12. Occupants unknown due to ship's defenses automatically disintegrating anything that gets close

Building Projects of the Stone Giants

d12
1. The Great Henge Wall
2. Colossal anti-adventurer deadfalls
3. Titanic bowling alley
4. Network of impressive stone watchtowers
5. Giant's mountain concourse w/connecting bridges and staircases cut from living rock
6. Great mountain top reservoir w/aqueduct network
7. Automatic avalanche traps
8. Blocking off strategic mountain pass w/world's biggest heap of boulders
9. Huge stone effigy of stone god astride two peaks
10. Dragon-smasher, the ultimate trebuchet
11. Skyscraper-size mausoleum
12. "That's no mountain, it's a fortress!"

Features of the Devil Prince's Escape-proof Isle

d12
1. Surrounding waters filled to bursting w/host of giant jellyfish in perpetual feeding frenzy
2. Three-hundred foot vertical stone cliffs on all sides w/single heavily guarded cave harbor, surface accessible via many-leveled subterranean complex
3. Surface 100% defoliated: frequent applications made by undead anti-gardeners
4. Herds of scantily fed giant man-eating swine patrol the barren open grounds
5. Maximum security cell block directly beneath keep w/garrison of 150 trained sub-human warriors and command group of half-giants
6. Huge enclosure where prisoners construct colossal ebon step pyramid for an unknown purpose 
7. Current warden: ancient vampire sorcerer with impressive resume of atrocities
8. Slave drivers/guards: swine-mounted trolls with wickedly barbed tridents that they hurl with deadly accuracy and surprising range
9. Perimeter scanned 24/7 by elite squad of sorcerers specializing in spells of observation, vigilance and detection, from series of watch towers equipped w/pre-charged fireball launchers, lightning guns, cloudkill grenades, etc.
10. When the mood strikes, the devil prince strolls the grounds, pausing for a bit of sadism here and there
11. Perpetually anchored storm cloud casts gloom and erupts into showers of punishing hail and lightning upon command from the warden
12. Aquatic security chief: dragon turtle

Under the Paleogean Serpentine Mound

d12
1. Giant mummified serpent demigod: remains inert until the stars are right
2. Emptied of original contents centuries ago, currently occupied by a witch's workshop dedicated to creating intriguing new life forms using recycled parts
3. Somewhere within the entirely earthen mass a single enchanted gem links the site to a particularly snaky dimension: luminous spirit snakes in their thousands writhe about the environs nightly
4. Entire membership of ancient vampire cult entombed within in quasi-dead  condition, seals regularly re-sanctified by snake god-worshipping zealots in nearby enclave
5. Imprisoned spirits whose magically preserved bodies must be destroyed before they can rest
6. Spectacular weregild offered by an extinct people to appease the gods of the serpent men, undisturbed for 1000 years
7. Time capsule of the ancient ones: strange and incomprehensible arts, magics, and technologies stored here until scheduled opening in 499 more years, giant auto-snake throws flames, launches explosive projectiles, bombards with deadly radiance any who dare break the seal
8. Fancy mausoleum for royal houses of the serpent men: every trap sprung, thoroughly looted, now a breeding ground for slimes, oozes and jellies
9. City of the mound devils: tiny entities of unquenchable malice and irony decorate the interior with furnishings crafted exclusively from human bones
10. The ancient earthwork merely serves as a corner in a continent-spanning pentangle that will one day call down the Missing Gods from their long sojourn among the stars
11. High priestess of the serpent folk abides in stasis with several drones, mated pairs of now-extinct antediluvian species awaiting the next Swamp Age
12. Snake-shaped air/sea/spacecraft covered in naturally accumulated turf