Monday, July 30, 2018

Dragon Behaviors, Other



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1. Compose works of dragon music for human choir, generally variations on the mind-bending reptilian dirges of their forebears, but vary wildly to the trained ear, human critics characterize these works as "unbearable dragon rackets"
2. Coin stacking to incredible heights, gigantic teetering coin castles reflect incredible skill, knocking them over: not recommended
3. Activate instinctual, introspective psychological self-analysis, painstakingly rewire mental arrangement to achieve ultimate draconic serenity over course of decades, abide forever at peace with universe, can only be attempted once hoarding instinct has been spectacularly fulfilled
4.  Craft epic-length seductive mating dances of astonishing complexity, inscrutable to humans, express full range of reptilian emotions, plumb the alien depths of the draconic condition, lots of subtle wing movements
5. Human husbandry: breed human slaves for various pleasing physical traits like prize roosters ("Look at the plumage on that one"), enthusiastic in attempts to attain/maintain misguided theoretical "ideal" conditions for thriving human population ("How charming, they're forming one of their little heirarchies")
6. Write trashy novels inscribed in ancient draconic cuneiform on huge clay tablets with claw-held stylus, devoted to genre work, tales loaded with dragon sex, violence, objectionable humanoid stereotyping
7. Devote selves to martial art of fine-tuning breath weapon: super-fine beams of tremendous range, extra broad cones for short range, machine gun pulse discharges, controlled bursts of lesser destructive power but increased times/day
8. Create claw-hewn sculptures: monumental in scope, jagged, severe, always abstract but give off unmistakeable totalitarian vibe
9. Hobby brewing of virgin blood-based potables, hoard recipes, virgins like gold
10. Pursuit of advanced mathematics, erect colossal abacuses, kidnap, enslave teams of talented human mathematicians (such as there are), eventually able to perform dimension doortime stop, gate, etc. by completing mental equations
11. Attain complete mastery of bodies at cellular level though meditations lasting years, achieve near-immortality, unlock ability to outmatch cephalopods at camouflage, color strobing, artistic rearrangements of scaly epidermis
12. Some dragons keep pets

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