Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Necromancer's Ultimate Ambition

1. Reanimate sustainable population of prehistoric totalitarian state for use as pre-oppressed pawns in political struggle against new-fangled feudalism
2. Create new sentient ape species infused with soul-matter from departed geniuses for release into the wild
3. Harness soul-energies to power colossal mobile death-wave generator, perpetrate ultimate extortion on powers-that-be
4. Construct planes-faring vessel composed entirely of cadavers whose harnessed undead brains control ship's functions
5. Replicate afterlife conditions in hermetic under-zone for unspeakable experiments
6. Establish personal body-bank of spare parts harvested from the dead: alternate limbs, body plans designed for various usage
7. Cultivate undead plants that produce undead fruits and vegetables to sustain an orderly undead society
8. Bioengineer giant disembodied undead womb for revitalizing meditation/tissue restoration bath
9. Deploy multi-gigaton death ray bomb in order to give death the slip by killing everything at once, to be followed instantly by detonation of reanimation bomb
10. Complete assimilation of knowledge harvested from rejuvenated brains representing every known stage of human history, become world's preeminent smart guy
11. Purge the universe of twisted spirits through combination of liberal dispersal of psychotropic vapors and tedious but indispensable talking therapy
12. Dehydrated zombies in convenient capsule-form

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