Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Dragon: Entirely Reasonable Demands

1. Must be honored with the celebration of elaborate festivals
2. To be depicted upon all regional coinage
3. New song to be composed (and performed) in honor fortnightly
4. Constant stream of tasty virgins
5. Staff of skilled attendants shall be provided for primping/preening
6. Full security force dispatched for (100% guaranteed) hoard protection during hunting trips and other sojourns
7. Monumental architecture/colossal statuary to be erected in image following demolition of offensive depictions of local heroes/deities
8. Crafting of enormous bedazzled crown, set with every conceivable gemstone in grotesque, ostentatious abundance
9. Human sacrifices to be made weekly to draconic deity
10. Nearby dungeon treasuries to be raided, contents delivered (intelligence provided)
11. Knighthood abolished
12. Destruction, subsequent ban of all anti-draconic weaponry

Note: see also The Dragon: Terroristic Threats

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