Thursday, January 9, 2014

Frozen in the Giant Block of Ice

1. Severed head of monarch still believed to reign over nearby realm, gleaming crown included 
2. Indescribably beautiful corpse of human ancestor provides definitive proof of devolution, arms and armor of dazzling craftsmanship still in mint condish
3. Ancient vampire imprisoned by mythic heroes of the previous age: spent countless centuries perfecting delicious scheme of vengeance upon humanity, will immediately launch stage one the moment some idiot thaws her out
4. Huge, self-luminous apple: bestows god-like intelligence and/or fatal brain hemorrhage w/a single bite
5. Demigod still sleeping off epic bacchanal: encased in ice by trickster deity, incapacitated by equally epic hangover if freed
6. Massive diamond: actually a disembodied demon brain, subtle mind-control powers target the weak up to fifty feet away
7. Hapless missionaries of particularly obnoxious sect, thrown overboard in icy seas, divine intervention denied at the crucial moment, plenty of informative tracts, no treasure
8. Water elemental criminal mastermind: indistinguishable from surrounding ice but sorcerer patsy sticks out like sore thumb w/that bejewelled girdle, stylish low cut tunic reveals exceptionally hairy chest festooned w/ensorcelled amulets
9. Fully operational UFO: crash landed before able to transmit order to destroy the campaign world to home planet, pilots in stasis, can be magically/accidentally revived, lots of shiny, precious space metal parts
10. Intact corpse of alien sorcerer: bristles w/magical baubles, flash frozen while casting massive death spell, lethal energies released if ice block compromised
11. Demon-Fire Boomerang of Infinite Explosions: burns dimly w/in block, glowing sigil on ice surface flashes "Danger: Do Not Release!" in every conceivable language
12. Purple blob at block's center: shrunken, inert sun-eater called down from the void, bound by long-dead sorcerer to exploit latent potency, radiates magic of unprecedented magnitude, if freed will eat the sun


  1. "If freed will eat the sun." That's a great way to change a gaming world right quick. Wow.

  2. What, no prehistoric monster? Come on, man, no need to ignore the classics.