Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Paladin Has a Damn Good Reason for Seizing your Treasure

Wandering paladins (an ever-present danger for adventurers operating in and around civilized lands) go about their business with preternatural moral certitude, would rather perish than skew an iota from deity-sanctioned duty, and generally operate in concert with a good number of well-armed ironclad lackeys.

1. Fundraising efforts by temple of Law declared mandatory by righteous monarch
2. Humanitarian crisis in neighboring duchy supersedes petty self-enrichment
3. New murderhobo tax on the books, required 40% forfeiture due upon encounter w/paladin
4. Fines levied for unlicensed treasure hunting in a forbidden zone
5. Damages due for last village the PCs happened to burn down
6. Paladin recognizes party loot as precisely the treasures reported stolen from lost caravan
7. Obscure provision in ancient regional legal code designates all dungeon treasures property of nearest landed gentry who may grant finder's fees, but don't hold your breath
8. The Devil's gold must be purified of evil back at the temple before safe for general use, a very serious matter of public safety
9. Paladin former acquaintance of NPC the adventurers killed for no particularly compelling reason, compensation due to surviving family members
10. Coins no longer legal tender, will exchange for new paper money
11. Illegal alien tax, PCs may avoid by providing proof of citizenship, local address, names and addresses of parents, two witnesses (not party members)
12. New revelation transmitted to paladin in dream: money the root of all evil, all gold must be gathered, transformed into towering statues of patron deity


  1. May I add:

    13. Dwarven paladin recognizes parts of the loot as belonging to his former clan now on the verge of extinction, demands the whole lot and calls all involved as grave robbers and defilers. (this happened in one of my campaigns)

  2. Nah, #10 could never happen. Wait....whut? ;)