Sunday, August 19, 2018

Yes, But Why is this Dungeon Unstable?

Typical Dungeon Control panel

See yesterday's THIS DUNGEON IS UNSTABLE

d12
1. Uptick in giant tunneling worm activity since humanoids discovered they are unfailingly attracted to a singular drum beat
2. Earth Elemental Civil War enters its 33rd generation, inches ever closer to the surface
3. Inevitable primordial superstructure failure now cascading out of control, level 11 recently smashed into level 12, rage, displacement, intra-dungeon warfare heating up even as the place crumbles
4. Pitch, yaw, and roll controls for keeping dungeon level have fallen into the hands of the mischievous puny humanoids, location of Dungeon Control Room known only to them
5. Colony of colossal paleogean dragons hibernating together between crust and mantle finally beginning to stir, still yawning, stretching, discussing approaches to ruination of campaign world
6. Huge, grotesquely muscled trans-dimensional warriors gated in to replace unreliable humanoid forces turned out to be unexpectedly dense, difficult to dispel, underpinnings strained to breaking upon sudden arrival of incalculable weight, dungeon being drawn core-ward
7. Microscopic dungeon mites multiplied exponentially due to unforeseen side effect of experimental death gas released by sorcerer on level 9, masses of mites now visible to naked eye, eating everything
8. That kaiju egg beneath the dungeon, hatching for the past several decades, enters final stage
9. Semi-sentient tectonic plate now responding to directions given by deranged sorcerer who's learned to speak Tectonese
10. Sudden shift in subterranean natural laws due to magic feedback, underground waterfall now goes up, catastrophic erosion underway
11. Artificial intelligence responsible for dungeon upkeep has gone off the rails HAL 9000-style
12. For centuries the industrious humanoids have waged an economic struggle against their employer-oppressors and now by policy only do shoddy work with the cheapest possible materials

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