Thursday, September 13, 2018

There Are No Dragons in this World



Alternate apex monsters for those occasions when it will be Dungeons & Whatever.

d12
1. Super-powered, hyper-muscular demigods tower over regular humans, world carved into ever-shifting tapestry of fiefdoms each w/demigod patron, driven to amass most fabulous treasures of the world, constant wars of item-specific acquisition
2. Eleven immortal tortoises left over from Dawn Times vary in size from colossal to stupendously huge, each guards single site of ancient power/megadungeon, communicate telepathically w/one another, breath atomic fire but once/century but it's a thermonuclear doozy
3. Giant winged dogs of regal bearing occupy mountaintops, run gamut from benevolent to diabolical, understand human tongues but communicate exclusively in complex language of whines, howls, whimpers, woofs, hoard/bury treasures  according to their own incomprehensible urges
4. Kong-sized royal apes in their heyday, titles of nobility represent full range/relative political power (see Subtable, below), recognize their own system of territories at odds with human political map, build vast walls to hamper human activities
5. Genius giant levitating koi, extended fins billow about majestically, sage-like wisdom sometimes available, more frequently destructive rays emit from toothless maws, bones made of gravity-defying gold
6. Profusion of uniquely inhuman chaos godlings emerge from spawning grounds in the Underworld, employ mind control powers to secure flocks of worshipers, amass wealth, make war upon each other
7. Numerous sea serpents ranging in size from tiny to enormous, intellect develops over slow growth cycle, control all sea trade/warfare, extort vast fortunes in gems from human sea powers for unknown purposes
8. Magic users warp/mutate as they grow in power, eventually becoming insane, terrifying chaos monsters alone in their depopulated towers w/all their unspendable money
9. Perpetually famished segmented swine grow to great serpentine immensity, dwell singly in vast territories due to enormous caloric requirements, despise humankind but obsessed w/human culinary achievements, descend upon farms lands/cities w/indiscriminate gluttony, every part of bodies worth a fortune
10. Giant war-bots left over from prior civilization stand inert like part of the landscape until monkeyed with by sorcery, spell variants abound, none perfect yet, several now accidentally rendered autonomous, fight one another on sight, essentially made out of treasure
11. Godzilla sized race of mantids once ruled the Earth, but got old/sleepy, awaken once in a while to go on killing sprees then mate, numbers remain stable due to murderous nature of coupling, lay single egg atop pile of treasure to be consumed by hatchling, guard jealously for length of gestation: 100 years
12. No creature on earth can hope to match the ferocity of titanic steel-furred earthquake shrews, insatiable appetites keep purple worm population to acceptable minimum, gut loaded with treasures, burrow w/lightning speed, show up unexpectedly, highly articulate, excellent senses of humor, but can only talk for a moment before feeding must commence

Subtable: Sample Royal Apes
Roll d6 for each column, adjust for gender as desired

1. Duke                  1. Klang                    
2. Viscount             2. Grak
3. Prince                 3. Urkk
4. Baron                 4. Chok
5. King                   5. Spang
6. Marquess           6. Chung

9 comments:

  1. I misread 10 as "Giant War-Boots," which would also be awesome, stomping away at people who mess with them.

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  2. I'm thinking it might be fun to have one of each and have them get into fights like the old Toho monsters.

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