Saturday, November 30, 2013

Purpose of the Enchanted Key

1. Deactivates all dungeon deathtraps when turned in security box on deepest dungeon level
2. For enchanted giant manacles restraining super-powerful/insane demigod
3. Activates/deactivates magical giant robot, keyhole in back of head, right behind stag beetle-like mandibles of steel
4. Ignition key for self-propelled mine cart of the tinker dwarfs, huge payload capacity, capable of breakneck speeds, poor cornering ability
5. Invisible keyhole in wall opens door to DMs pet alternate campaign setting
6. Opens lock box containing secret instructions left by extinct star-dwellers to prevent otherwise imminent galactic collision
7. Unlocks magical cage imprisoning relatively minor corporeal manifestation of death god
8. Grants access to the most magnificent lavatory facilities yet conceived
9. Opens padlock securing chains around cabinet loaded with priceless collectible torture implements from ancient culture of unsurpassed sadism
10. Inserting into keyhole on boulder activates metamorphosis into animate bodyguard of stone
11. Fits in any keyhole, locks permanently if turned
12. Toggles good/evil setting for biomechanical mind-enhancing implant in sorcerer's head

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