Tuesday, February 11, 2014

What's Up with These Giant Rats?

1. Able to spring frog-like up to thirty feet, glide on webbing between front and back legs as flying squirrel
2. Walk on walls and ceiling as spiders, eight eyes, saliva causes necrotic wound
3. Projectile vomit disease-laden bile in twenty foot arc once per day, but must go lie down afterward
4. Hairless, extra-hideous, hive mind, form great rolling rat balls capable of smashing through dungeon doors
5. Can speak the common tongue but only say things a rat might think plus obscene insults
6. Bipedal, dress in hobbit-like gear, smoke pipes, good with slings and darts, craft lethal anti-humanoid traps
7. Obscured by visible swarms of huge mutant flesh-eating bacteria
8. Pick pockets as master thieves, skitter off w/the shiniest available items, deep warren chamber a remarkable treasure trove accessible only by rat holes
9. Actually really cute and adorable, or maybe that's just their mind-control pheromones
10. Act as watch dogs for hostile dungeon population, flee from all encounters to alert masters, get treats but will betray trainers for anyone w/special treats
11. Instantly extrude a litter of fast-growing ratlings every time they eat an adventurer 
12. Long, spiky bright orange and purple fur, preceded by acrid stench, literally dripping with neurotoxin from hyperactive poison glands, utterly fearless


  1. I never think to comment on these (and there's nothing particular about this post that made me want to do so) but I would like to note that your blog is a useful and fun resource for adding fluff to a game -- one of my favorites.

  2. Yeah, it's a little hilarious. Dungeon Dozen has the highest ratio of Usefulness to Ease of Comments. So, I'll leave the same comment I always do.

    This is excellent stuff. There's a lot of humor in there, too. I especially love #3 and #12. And the psychic, rolling, hairless rat ball will haunt me for days to come.