Thursday, April 17, 2014

What Today's Well-dressed Sorcerer is Wearing: Headgear

1. Black cranial dome secured by stout leather chinstrap w/large, ever-flapping bat wings, swell to giant size upon command for one emergency flight per day
2. Animate turban capable of lashing out in anger, holding weapon/objects, fully unraveling into snake-like servitor creature
3. Transparent dome-style space helmet, tubes connect to backpack tank w/compressed/enslaved air elemental providing inexhaustible oxygen supply
4. Miniature step pyramid built permanently atop scalp, if spattered w/blood tiny portal opens into diminutive plane of Hell, minimally capable wee demons emerge to do bidding
5. Silver skullcap w/ever-spinning, 100% locally accurate orrery atop
6. Best available crash-test helmet from 21st century Earth, crafted of space-age polymers that provide immunity to psychic intrusion due to previously unknown quirk of psy-chemistry
7. The Wig of 1000 Hairdos: changes hair style, color, length upon command, baseline do: huge greasy pompadour
8. Tank-like gun turret atop rounded cone hat, capable of independent targeting, limited ammunition, must be manned by 3 imp crew for full functionality, imp chow/ammo prohibitively expensive to all but the most pecunious
9. Silver skullcap w/spectacular working Tesla coil, discharges full-strength lightning bolt once per day, unlimited taser-like zaps at targets w/in 10'
10. Blue-black standard wizard hat w/fully animated 3-D outer space display, stars, planets, comets, galaxies set to their inexorable courses
11. Elaborate, roughly conical headdress made entirely of detachable daggers balanced for throwing
12. Head-portable spell component garden and small mammal familiar terrarium


  1. This list was absolutely sublime! Bravo!

  2. #2 is incredible! Useful and "believable".
    #3 is ingenious.
    #4 is a true terror. It opens up doors best kept shut. :-)