Sunday, August 5, 2012

Yeah, But THIS Vampire...

1. Transmutes at need into black ooze form
2. Drinks only the blood of halflings
3. Has swollen to gross immensity after gorging on village
4. Emits hypnotic vapor cloud from mouth
5. Takes the shape of a giant chigger
6. Sucks blood from toothed orifices on palms
7. Is the size of a horsefly
8. Must sleep for a fortnight
9. Can only be killed thusly
10. Repelled by recitation of verse
11. Has 20ft. long prehensile blood-sucking tongue
12. Will leave you alone if you can beat it in a strictly moderated tournament-style miniatures wargame

Note: 200th post! I figured on running out of gas about 150 posts ago. Onward!


  1. Congratulations on your 200th post! I've been enjoying them.

  2. Congratulations on 200! You kick ass!

  3. This is an incredible blog. The only thing keeping me from posting it to Metafilter is the fact that I have actually already done so.

  4. How about "Had a crazy girlfriend who claimed to be a vampire and willingly let her infect him, and when he was shot by mobsters five years later was 'resurrected' so he could find his killer and become a crusader in the Chicago underground in the 1930s?"

    Wait...whut? ;)