Saturday, May 19, 2012

Pricey Merchandise at the Wilderness Outfitters

1. Owlbear taxidermy (one available): awesome pose, a bit of mange
2. Tinted smoke powder for long-distance signalling: 1d4 colors available
3. Troll call: flugelhorn-like instrument guaranteed to attract/distract bull trolls, rather a steep learning curve
4. Bottled hill giant urine: repels many animals/monsters
5. Mountaineering boots w/toe-activated retractable claw mechanism
6. Gold-sniffing weasel: will make bee-line for nearest concentration of gold when released
7. Giant spider silk rope: adheres to most surfaces, oil-treated gloves included
8. Torches infused w/a variety of fragrant essences
9. Dehydrated homonculi: release form required for purchase
10. Master trained monster-detecting falcon: 1 in 6 chance of betraying new owners (flying off, leading in predators, etc.)
11. Lantern filled w/bioluminescent fluid harvested from living giant glow worm, shake to activate, lasts 2d4 hours
12. Domesticated pork-fed troll fatback: a perpetual food source if byzantine directions followed to the letter, saving throw required on initial consumption


  1. If I ever come into a lot of money I will pay someone to create an Owlbear taxidermy for my study.

  2. Are the gold-sniffing weasels inspired by The Oregon Trail?