Tuesday, October 8, 2013

NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Five

1. Tall fellow in high-collared black cloak looks like he wants to parley but then frog-like extensible tongue studded with razor-sharp obsidian starts darting about
2. Experimental horse-man (man-head grafted sloppily onto pony-body): escaped from lab, in search of man-horse last seen on level four and good sorcerer/surgeon
3. Noted sorcerer/surgeon, recently trampled (by entry 2), in state of general discombobulation, levitating at top speed on iron disk, every death spell available on the tip of tongue
4. General of recognizable surface force, practically aglow with enchanted arms/armor, en route to level ten under protection of brother-sister bodyguard team, each sibling master of complimentary martial art
5. World bodybuilding champion of the cave giants sporting truly staggering physique, in repose on litter borne by a platoon of ogres, eating elf-heads like grapes, separate platoon hauls portable workout rig, pretty sure everyone he sees is a big fan
6. Humanoid in hazmat suit w/insignia of sorcerer (see entry 3) runs about in a panic opening doors and screaming about "imminent core melt-down in the humanimal amalgamator"
7. Expert burglar suffering from magical amnesia can't recall where he got the face-melting wand, but doesn't feel at all comfortable about holding on to it
8. Smug warlock major domo leads crew of headless kung-fu zombies bearing broken body of escaped former paramour of celebrity witch, moving towards level four
9. Sword master from famous surface duelling school, identity shrouded by magic, hell bent on proposing marriage to medusa in nearby lair, ritual suicide blade oiled and ready in the event of rejection
10. Lone barbarian, unarmed after losing battle with pack of sphinx-dogs, lurks in shadows waiting for someone to amble by w/a huge axe or something
11. Gill-man Homeland Security Chief in dapper jellyfish leather parade dress, surrounded by personal guard, nervously makes way toward level ten anticipating assassination attempt at any moment
12. Pre-human king of antediluvian provenance, accidentally freed from stony imprisonment by interlopers from surface, flexes restored muscles by kicking the ass of anyone who happens by while mental faculties slowly come back on-line

1 comment:

  1. "humanimal amalgamator" is the best thing I've read all day.