Thursday, October 17, 2013

NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Ten

1. Dungeon Overlord's chief of staff, scarred around head where extra brains surgically crammed in, just called onto carpet for constant security breaches, flop sweat, offers unregistered guests cash bribe for immediate departure via secret passage to surface
2. Giant w/sledgehammer hand, sack of huge nails, takes down mummified remains of adventurers from display wall, cart load of freshies ready to go up
3. Renowned master thief in flowing cape, rumors of death greatly exaggerated, following mental collapse believes self to be ancient vampire
4. Wizard (out of spells) with nasty leg wound, recently defrocked cleric on the outs w/deity bleeding from face, drag limp armored form, rather chewed, certain they are pursued by actual Hounds of Hell
5. Dungeon Overlord's personal trainer in colorful skin-tight singlet, headband, vestigial bat wings, impeccably muscled body a high-tension wire, highly aggressive/volatile personality, no appreciable combat skills
6. Eccentric artist from surface, borne aloft by the ever-fluttering silk scarf of hovering, demonic significant other (jet-black, stunningly beautiful, porcupine quills instead of hair), lampoon the foibles of second half of D.O.'s super-armor design team (entry 7)
7. Evil dwarf armorer/engineer stomps around in huff, mutters about contacting union steward to get him out of the super-armor contract (see entry 6), huge adamant slide-rule beheads on critical hit
8. Recently revivified genocide-beetle scientist from ten million years in the past, tech advisor to D.O., oversees disinterment of paleogean death-science laboratory by devolved service beetles
9. Harem manager, towering androgyne, refugee from alien sphere destroyed in arcane incident, ninety-nine problems coming to head simultaneously, shredding documents with curving finger-claws, contemplates options, considering taking job with vampire lord in neighboring dungeon complex, knows semi-direct underworld route, needs bodyguards
10. Ghost of noted ancient philosopher/genius, policy advisor to D.O., insists (with all due politeness) adventurers follow to Overlord's chamber as proof positive of security issues
11. Surface monarch from nation thought to be bastion of good, full regal finery including many sparkling gems and luminous circlet of station, unsightly bite marks on neck (see entry 3), looking for security chief to file complaint
12. D.O.'s deep tissue massage therapist, grotesquely swollen land-kraken w/kindly human-like face, out-of-control drooling problem, tentacles strong enough to rip a man in half, simultaneously able to perform the most delicate of tasks


  1. I really like 1, 3, and 10. How many levels are in this dungeon? Who is the evil overlord and what is his nefarious plot?.

    And I know that you aren't writing a dungeon or a plot, but honestly all of your posts sort of glob together in my head and it seems like you are.

    1. See today's post. Re: levels, I called it at 10.