Friday, April 13, 2012

Items of Moderate Interest in the Ogre-King's Hoard

1. Accumulation of scalps: tacked to wooden pole in stand
2. Bronzed baby teeth of forgotten aristocrat and several shiny coat buttons in half-crushed box
3. Crude portrait of infamous ogre lord of the distant past on stretched skin of some kind and wrapped in furs
4. Small cubes of dehydrated hero blood in ceramic vessel marked with an X, prescribed by witch doctor for flagging virility
5. Braid from frost giant's beard taken in anger
6. Exquisitely rendered stone sculpture depicting seductive ogress in repose
7. Taxidermy collection of deceased pets: 2-headed hell hound, favorite slave ape, goblin body guard, all in ferocious poses
8. Rare yet essentially worthless collectible stone-carved miniature knights and castles, roughly handled, paint chipped, fair+ condition
9. Junior-sized training cudgel: blood-stained, dotted with skull fragments, cracked down the middle
10. One set of ogre-size formal wear: dress loin clout, fine fur shoulder wrap, huge leather boots, thick black girdle with shiny buckle
11. Cask of aged fungus liquor: subtle, loamy aroma, intriguing flavor profile, lethal to humans 
12. Sold to the king as The Coprolites of the Gods, probably just a box of roughly cylindrical rocks


  1. "Coprolites of the Gods"

    haha, hilarious! My phys. anthro professor specialised in analysing the pollen contained in the coprolites of mummies.

  2. Now I want to run an Ogre-King adventure.