Monday, June 4, 2012

The Intelligent Dragon's Current Obsession

1. Development of draconic haute cuisine: has filed talons into precision food prep implements
2. Composition of epic poem celebrating self and accomplishments while minimizing those of rivals, scribes on staff to take dictations
3. Negotiating complex treaties w/two-bit human lords and then gleefully pulling the rug out from under them
4. Dungeon extortion racket: legwork carried out by deputized hench-monsters, doesn't really pay off but provides amusing bedevilment
5. Health and wellness: meditation, (human) juice fast, brutal exercise regimen w/charismatic personal trainer/guru in residence
6. Interior cave design: multi-tiered water features, sculpted and enhanced columns, stalactites and stalagmites, attractive fungi arrangements, etc.
7. Exotic creature husbandry: extensive menagerie maintained by staff of expert monster wranglers
8. Researching theoretical means of draconic space travel, intends to capture moon for dragon-kind
9. Trying hand at designing self-aggrandizing monumental architecture: still hatching schemes to acquire requisite host of slave laborers
10. Amassing preeminent library of esoteric knowledge, several demon librarians on staff, hiring buyers/thieves
11. LARPing w/bored vampire guests and lich acquaintance: likes to play halflings
12. Recently sworn off frivolous obsessions: right back to default treasure hoarding/virgin eating


  1. Just going through your posts to collect various tables for a new campaign. These are going to be very useful. Thanks.

  2. # 11 made me & my spouse, laugh uproariously for about 5 minutes straight

  3. Love this one and it is well-timed for my current campaign!

  4. After reading #11, all I can picture is a humongous dragon plastered up against a wall "hiding". Adventurers come upon the dragon, spot him, and the dragon goes:

    "Shhh! I'm hiding! I think I can sneak up on the dragon in his lair, get the ring and get out. Don't blow it for me!"