Monday, July 30, 2012

Why the Ancient Empire Fell

1. Ultimate weapon invented and immediately implemented to full effect
2. Evolved intelligence just high enough to perceive the futility of it all
3. Victims of first unexpected return of the dinosaurs
4. Divine thumbs down: wave after wave of "natural" disasters
5. Created gigantic monsters to fight their battles: results inevitable
6. Sudden cosmic transition to currently known physical laws ruined everything
7. Institutional demon slavery led to genocidal revolt
8. Achieved such mastery of the physical world they got fat, lazy and subsequently forgot how to do everything
9. Gave peace a chance, then beat plowshares back into swords
10. Created trans-planar portal, permanently abandoned this crappy universe
11. Philosophical breakthrough: attained universal enlightenment, stopped reproducing
12. Partied themselves to death


  1. I've been "off the grid" for a while, and this was a great post to return to your blog. I particularly love numbers 2, 3 (I immediately thought of Topps' "Dinosaurs Attack!" cards), and 7.

  2. I'd say 8,9 or 12 sounds about right for us...