Monday, July 16, 2012

Gentle and Kindly Abominations

1. Jolly old shoggoth: produces human-like head to put bipeds at ease, remarkable sense of humor, a real raconteur with anecdotes and sly references for any occasion
2. Giant mantis, toxic: exudes clouds of noxious pheromones, feeds exclusively upon the heads of evil men and monsters
3. Sentient man-size sea urchins have nothing but the best of intentions
4. Chaos-tainted giant razorback with great scything tusks and eight spider legs: allows abandoned pups to suckle at its zillion teats
5. Hill giant w/beetle head composes sonnets, observes and records the habits of birds
6. Giant subterranean worm enjoys cooperating with miners, personality and intellect of a faithful hound
7. Death yak: wouldn't hurt a fly (on purpose) despite venom-dripping recurved horns, gouts of flame from nostrils and stampeding hoofs, somewhat easily rattled
8. Perfectly reasonable, if continuously famished, disembodied giant maw
9. Indescribably eldritch trans-dimensional tentacular horror: spouts out life-affirming parables and screeds of wisdom to any who might listen
10. Saint Kong: fascinated by/protective of humans, likes helping construct monumental architecture, refined aesthetic sensibility
11. Piranha-faced anthropoids shrouded in black robes: pacifists, eat only creatures dead of natural causes
12. The hideous vampire Gandhi (accepts blood donations)


  1. You had me at "Jolly old shoggoth".

  2. Is #5 inspired by Perdido Street Station and #7 by Dungeon Crawl? :)

  3. The phrases 'zillion teats' 'death yak' and 'saint kong' will be rotating in my subconcious for a long time to come.

  4. Why, oh why do so few humans rely upon the kindness of trans-dimensional tentacular horrors?