Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Ill-tidings from the Cleric's Patron Deity

1. Disapproves of recent activities: tithe doubled until further notice
2. Enlightenment enhancement required: fasting, meditation, self flagellation recommended
3. Order to meditate on particularly mind-bending paradox, issue report on findings
4. Bad connection: 1d4 extra hours of meditation required to restore powers
5. Message delivered by proxy: deity not available at this time, restores low level spells only
6. Dogma redaction: error discovered, new dogma to follow
7. New covenant: sea change on divine level triggers total reexamination of cult requirements
8. Brace for hostile takeover attempt from unknown pantheon
9. Automatic writing assignment, addendum to scriptures required for new converts, deadline: tomorrow
10. Adjustment to proselytizing requirement: now thrice daily
11. New arch-enemy revealed, holy war immanent
12. Total loss of contact: god missing and feared destroyed


  1. My drow cleric loves 12, due to still drawing power from Lolth (it's fun to use evil to fight evil, especially what granted you the power).